Family Operations Center

Okay, I know I promised (some time ago now) that I would share the terribly interesting details about the Family Operations Center. The pictures have been here just waiting-breathless with anticipation for my captioning. So, here goes...

As you walk in to the house from the garage, the door to the FOC (I know that sounds slightly offensive, but the full name is just too long to type out each time...)is located directly ahead. Hanging on the wall to the left of the door above the lightswitch is our key/note organizer. This is the place where the keys land as soon as we walk in and it has saved countless hours attempting to locate our missing keys. We also keep this organizer stocked with pencils, pens, notepads of paper, the "extra" cell phone, and the grocery fliers for that week. It makes it very easy as we are running out the door, especially during the school year, to write a last minute absence note (if one were to be last-minute in those sort of things...) or jot a quick grocery list down before leaving.

*In the future, we are planning to add a shoe holder of some sort directly below this organizer. Suggestions are welcome and appreciated!*

To the left of the door when walking into the FOC, is the backpack/coat/ hat/ glove bench. Even the dynamic duo can hang up their own coat or backpack here by standing on the bench seat. There are six hooks, which allows each child to have one (unless the ark grows at which point, I think we'd look to add additional ones-hooks, that is). Each of the older children has one of the baskets on the top shelf for their hat, mittens, gloves, etc...If they are wet, they can dry them off first in the laundry tub (located just to the left of the bench) or the dryer (located next to the laundry tub). Either way, they are dry and put away before the next use. The smaller baskets has made it much easier for each child to monitor their own winter gear without digging through a heap of everyone's fuzzy mittens and hats! The little kids have two bins on the bottom. One is for their hats and one is for their gloves. Even they have been able to follow this system and keep their hats and gloves together through this past winter. The last bin belongs to the Captain and I. We can actually find our own winter gloves without searching through toy boxes or kid's backpacks because someone got *confused* while dressing for the cold.

These cork boards were purchased at our local Office Max ($9.99/4 pack)and the dry erase/ bulletin board is from Target ($16.99 in the store, but not available on their website). The library pocket cards on each cork board and the chart on the bulletin board are from the local teacher supply store. (ed. note: I just can't help myself when I get in those stores...once a teacher, always a teacher--especially in September!)

Each of the kids has their own cork square with a library pocket card attached and bearing their name. As soon as they receive an important paper from school, sports, etc...it is thumbtacked immediately to their board. This has accomplished two things: first, it has enabled me to see the surface of my kitchen counter on a consistent basis and second, all those important papers don't seem to go missing any more. During the school year each of the school-aged children had a "What do you need today?" list also attached to their square (unfortunately, I threw this past year's lists out already, I know, I know, but the year was OVER already, people!) The gist of each of these lists, which helped me as well as them, was to break down the school week M-F and show for each day what "special" items each child might need. For example, if it's Wednesday, it's library for B and H's class so they need to have their library books. During the first six weeks of school, before we left the house, it was common practice for me to call out, "What do you need today? Have you checked your list?" Eventually, it became habit (most of the time) but there were some of those mornings when, well, you know...The last item on the square is the library pocket card. Two examples are shown below.

Shown above is one of the three younger kid's cards. Each one has three "jobs" on it. Everyone has the same last two jobs, which basically amounts to helping keep their room and the family room tidy. In addition to those two jobs, each child has one *special* job for the week (Sunday to Sunday). There are pictures to go with the *special* jobs so it can be easily "read" by a pre-schooler.

Shown above here is an example of one of the three older children's cards. Again, these are picked on Sunday night, so each card is used for one week. All of the cards go back in the pile after dinner on Sunday night and everyone picks again. Sometimes a new card is drawn, but not necessarily. When some of the children (who shall remain nameless) continued to draw the same card repeated times, the suggestion was made (by the aforementioned children) to be allowed to *trade* with a sibling. We did consider it...for about 10 seconds...and then decided that it was not a bad thing to have to do the same job more than one week in a row. As a matter of fact, it has shown itself to be a good thing. Nothing has made them more proficient at some of these jobs than practice and learning to do something that is boring or monotonous, while still contributing to the greater good of society, is a valuable lesson for our children. Additionally, the more often the same child performs the same chores, the more ownership is taken for that particular responsibility. When I hear a child say to a sibling, "Now, when you get out of the car, make sure you take out all of those books you brought with you and don't forget your juice cup, either!" I have to smile to myself--not just because of my pride in their actions but because not only is the task accomplished, but I need not be the chief nagger about it.

Finally, on the dry erase/bulletin board we keep a chart where the children can check off when they are finished for the day with all of their jobs. The younger ones, who need assistance, receive help from their buddy. (If you notice on the top of each of the older children's cards, there is the name of a younger child assigned to be their "buddy" for that week.) While it is not necessary for anyone to put a star or a smile face in the box each day, we've found that the idea of having a clear, specific, finite list for what is expected each day and the opportunity to "cross it off" leaves everyone with a healthy sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. We've used the dry erase board (which is also magnetic) to leave each other messages, create countdowns to special visitors arriving or events happening and to write a note of encouragement or just something humorous to kick off the week.

All in all, I'd have to say that it is a fluid program--as the children grow and change, parts of it will change as well; but for now it is one for which we are pleasantly content with its results.

Overheard

Little N has had quite a sniffly nose lately. Seems we're doing some kind of early summer cold thing here on the ark. To keep her little nose clean, I've been after her with Kleenex pretty regularly. So the other day when she went to find one for herself and couldn't she called out:

"Mommy, we need more ISSUES in our house."

Is it naive to think that it was just her stuffed up nose talking?

I thought not.

Goin' to the chapel

Not me silly, my sister-in-law. She is the first of two siblings' weddings my husband (whom Kelli aptly nick-named the "Captain" of the ark! ;-)!!!) and I and the rest of the clan are attending this summer.

Fortunately, this wedding does not involve the loading up of 8 people into the Suburban (really, in this case, an ark would seem much more practical...) and driving half-way across the country to Boston. The good news, in that scenario, is that a) we will get to see my brother finally get married! b) we have top-notch accomodations for the stay, right Auntie F? and c) the wedding is the start of our vacation time in New England--hooray!

But for today, in the midwest, I am making final preparations to bring the Boy and the two big girls to the rehearsal tonight, where they will learn their roles as usher and greeters. Then, head over to the rehearsal dinner at my in-laws to meet up with the "Captain" and the three little ones. We also have my husband's Grandma B, who is 80-something years old, staying with us tonight and tomorrow; and who has given us a good excuse to give a somewhat more in-depth cleaning to the ark prior to her arrival. The wedding should be great. The forecast is iffy, but it will be a mini-reunion of sorts for the family and the "Captain" and I will get to dance together for the first time since, well, the last wedding we attended; which should garner all sorts of eye-rolling and snickering from the pre-teen set here on the ark. But most of all, it will be a wedding, a new beginning, a brand-spanking new start for the little girl who is the "Captain's" goddaughter and who was my flower girl (okay, how old am I now?) in my wedding. At her bridal shower, just a few weeks ago, I remember watching her open her brand new mixing bowls and kitchen towel sets, beautiful Calphalon pots and pans and dinner dishes; and I remember how even that choked me up. I guess I'd better make sure to pack some Kleenex, huh?

So, wish us well, actually-wish them well...after 14 years of marriage, I know that the mixing bowls will get scratched and someone will use one of those beautiful kitchen towels to wipe their nose and one of those dishes will eventually break, but there is nothing more precious than when a marriage is new, when you stand hand-in-hand with your new spouse, gazing out into the future, waiting to see what God has planned for your new life together.

Guess where we spent Tuesday afternoon?

Yup, you guessed it...

At the braid shop!

Armed only with their two happy meals, the girls arrived at the shop at 11:30 and did not return home until 6:15 that evening. Ever the good sister, B spent the entire time with H!

Champions of Faith: Baseball Edition

What do you think of when you think of professional athletes? Do you think of their outrageously wholesome lifestyles? How about their upstanding moral character? Or do you sometimes just think about their life and how it reflects their faith as Christians?

Yeah, me neither.

Well, whatever you were thinking-be prepared to think again.

In a little over an hour, my 12 year old son, my husband and myself (armed with pen and paper to write this review) settled in on our family room couch to watch the new DVD Champions of Faith: Baseball Edition.

Before you read anymore about what I thought of the DVD, go and watch the trailer for yourself. When you're finished, stop back here and I'll tell you how you can save 10% when you order.

If the top-notch sports footage and uptempo music of Grammy Award winning group, Third Day, haven't yet convinced you, let me give it a try. In a time when the stories making sports headlines both on and off the field are filled with less-than-exemplary behaviors, to see these big name ball players witnessing their faith in the Lord is a breath of fresh air. And what's equally impressive (particularly to those who follow baseball on a much more regular basis than I) is that the twenty-plus superstars who participated in this project are just that-even by secular standards. Although some of the featured players have traded uniforms since the making of this film, their message hasn't changed. Their names and faces will be familiar, as will many of the highlights that are shown. What I suspect will be less familiar are the personal stories of faith shared by the men.

Of the seven players, who are highlighted throughout the program, my favorite one has to be coach Rich Donnelly's "Chicken Runs at Midnight" story. If for no other reason, bring home this DVD to hear Coach Donnelly retell a bittersweet memory and how the overlap of his faith, his family and baseball came together one memorable night.

From start to finish, Champions of Faith-Baseball Edition lives up to its aspiration to be a "groundbreaking tool of evangelization." Included with the DVD is a Companion Guide containing a brief synapsis of each segment, quotes from players, reflection questions and relevent scripture passages; which provide an excellent springboard for further discussion at home or in a group setting.

Tom Allen, who worked with Mel Gibson on his "Passion of the Christ" mega-success has but one prayer for the project, "that every Christian in America gets the opportunity to see this film, own this film and share it with others."

Perhaps a child you know plays baseball or an adult you know follows the baseball season. Or maybe someone you know could use a sports-infused shot in the arm of faith. You can order a copy here or by clicking on the banner in my sidebar (and use the code COFSAVE10 to save an extra 10%!!!).

Here's our chance to batter-up and hit one 'out of the park' for Christ and help to bring the rest of the team safely home!

Happy Father's Day 2007

For two very special fathers...one who helped to raise me and one who raises me up.

There is an excellent article here about what makes a man a hero. There is really no real reason for either of you to read it, as you already know all about that. You know about the level of commitment required of a father: the sheer exhaustion that you work through to play one more game of catch (or soccer in some cases), to wake in the pre-dawn hours to head off to a job that you may or may not feel like going to that day to support your family, to mend the hurts-both big and small-that those entrusted to you feel, to stand aside proudly and oh-so-humbly as the parenting accolades are doled out upon your *better* half. Maintaining the status quo has never been your strong point. You've always managed, in your own quiet, unassuming way, to lead by example and we as your family are the better for it.

What makes a man a hero? I'm not sure of the specifics, but that's okay, because I'm sure that you are. May God bless all our fathers today and always.

"It wasn't the reward that mattered or the recognition you might harvest. It was your depth of commitment, your quality of service, the product of your devotion -- these were the things that counted in a life. When you gave purely, the honor came in the giving, and that was honor enough." - Captain Scott O'Grady

Randomness Remix Times Eight


What a willing bunch of friends you are! I had no idea how many truly random things I had forgotten. So, as promised, here are the real 8 random things about me...

1. I cannot stand the sound of the word "ankle" or the word "somewhat". Don't ask me why, remember these are the truly random things.

2. I drove undercover with a flat tire to my now defunct small Catholic women's college, for some wholesome college living with your wee little sister (who obviously hasn't gotten this month's payoff yet).

3. I lost the mensa contest to both my siblings; making me not only the least edumacated one in the family but also the lowest IQ haver; which, in turn, makes me the least big of a geek--thankyouverymuch.

4. At one point, I used to eat my food in alphabetical order. Don't ask what I did when I had both cheese and chocolate, any self-respecting second grader would tell you to look at the next letter in the word.

5. The night I met my husband-to-be, I didn't have a pen or paper to write down my phone number for him...so I wrote it on his hand in lipstick.

6. Speaking of that same night...I met my husband after attending a party called the "Pajamajammy Jam" (how very early 90s that sounds now). Needless to say, I was sporting my jammies at the time we met. In my defense, they were a very cute pair of Lanz cotton pajamas, white with a light pink pinstripe AND I wore a matching light pink turtleneck underneath. Hey, I am from New England after all and it WAS January.

7. I used to have an extensive salt shaker collection. No further details are available at this time.

8. During my freshman year in college a West Point (my beloved's alma mater) cadet climbed out my dorm room window on a sheet. Terri B., if you're reading this, I am quite certain that Kapo was responsible for this illicit act. As you well know, I was not USMA groupie until, well, I married one of them.

Thanks to everyone who sent me such fun (and funny!) memories and for all the very kind things you said which I am not gratuitous enough to print. I am holding onto the *unused* random things you sent to be used for future blackmail memes.

They're heeere!

My entomologist-in-training was pleased to inform her not so pleased by the news mother that the cicada population had not (as I had hoped) vanished for parts unknown, but rather decided to show up fashionably late to the party. We noticed they had arrived when, this past Monday morning, while waiting for the Boy to finish with his golf camp, we decided to kill some time at a nearby park. B (shown below with her find) located a cicada of the deceased persuasion almost as soon as she jumped out of the car. Her enthusiasm was, well, enthusiastic and yet, strangely unshared by me for certain phobic reasons I won't get into right now...Needless to say, she was bound and determined not to leave the park without her catch. After scrounging around the car for a minute, she settled on an only-been-used-once Ziploc sandwich baggie and dropped the red-eyed little critter inside. Feeling satisfied, she gathered her baggie and we all headed off to the playground area. This seemed a fine plan. Until she realized that she couldn't both hold her treasure and navigate the playground freely. All hope seemed lost but then, as she turned and saw me, her loving mother, standing nearby, hands full of baby but carrying a very.large.pocketbook a lightbulb went on. And so, to my utter dismay, my lovely summer handbag became a shuttle bus for one dead cicada while his new owner played unencumbered.

My first ever purse passenger.

To clean or not to clean

This arrived in my email late last night (HT: Dawn) and then I noticed it was also on Yahoo! as one of its featured news stories.

I can't stress enough people, all good things come from Connecticut; especially Conn College, long known for its science department and as home to many budding microbiologists, right Pettey?

Regardless of its source, check out this study. After seeing it, I'm not sure why I even bothered to mop my kitchen floor yesterday.

Alrighty then

Since some of you have emailed (and others have quite boldly told me across the dinner table) to let me know that my self-selected 8 random things were not, shall we say, random enough; I'm going to give you a shot at it yourselves. If you have a random thing(s) about me that you think SHOULD have made the cut, email it to me at patjrsmom at yahoo dot com before noon on Friday. I'll use the ones I like best first 8 I get and post them in a brand new 8 things meme, okay.

Lizardo and J. Randolph, you should most definitely look upon this as a personal challenge. Seriously, I dare you.

Potty Training

Yesterday morning before church, I asked my just-turned-four-year-old to grab my red sandals. Unknowingly, she grabbed a different pair of red shoes and my almost-three-year old appeared beside her and said, "No, no. She wants the ones I went potty in yesterday."

I'm quite certain those are NOT the ones I want.

Hooray!

The little lost bar has been found. Now, if I could only fix the font in my new header...

Desperately seeking...

the little bar at the top of my computer screen that contains such important tabs as: file, edit, favorites, etc...

Last seen sometime last night before 10pm---whereabouts presently unknown.

I can't access any of the blogs or other sites I regularly read without you , little bar...please come home soon!

8 Random Things

Praying for Grace, who also maintains an awesome kitchen blog, tagged me for this little meme. I'll try to attempt to select from the multitude of random things about myself and narrow it down to only 8. Here goes:

1. I'm the oldest of three children. My brother, 33, who is finally (did I just type that out loud?) getting married this summer and my *baby* sister, 24, who is a public school teacher in NYC. We grew up with our mom and dad in a small town in Connecticut famous for the creator of Scrabble, an old Breyer's Ice Cream commercial, dollar movies at the town hall and infamous for the "Woodchipper Murder" of an airline stewardess.

2. *Home* went and retired to northern New Hampshire a few years ago, but my mom still has her cell phone with Connecticut telephone number. For the first six months they were up north, in protest, I would only call the CT number. Can anyone say "attachment issues"? Sheesh.

3. As a little girl, I played school all.the.time. (I also frequently dressed my brother up as a girl, but we won't talk about that-ahem.) I decided in middle school that I wanted to be a lawyer and kept thinking that I would until my senior year in high school. The school offered a study hall in place of a religion class to any senior who was teaching Religious Ed. Desperately seeking a last period study hall, I quickly signed up and, much to my horror, found that I really did LOVE teaching. It's funny what God will use to bring you in line with His plans.

4. In college, I double-majored in Elementary Education and Psychology and spent my first year teaching a Pre-K at the cathedral school in our diocese. I then joined the long, chalked line of educators in what my brother (the hold-out) refers to as the "family curse".

5. I have children born on three different continents: Africa, Europe and North America. We have welcomed a child at every home we have bought, which causes people to flinch now if we even suggest we're moving...

6. I love to cook Mexican and Italian food, bake cookies, go to the beach (especially the Cape and Outer Banks), stamp anything and read/watch "cozy" mysteries.
I do NOT love to wash dishes, go camping, fly on airplanes, eat fish, or watch the nightly news (unless you consider the Weather Channel at night-"news").

7. I had no dental work up until I had children. For every child I have given birth to, I've either lost a tooth or gained a filling.

8. I lead the Women's Bible Study at our church. We just finished the second book in the Courageous Series by Stacy Mitch. Together with my husband, we coordinate the Couples' Bible Study at our church, using the book Family Matters. Doing this has prompted us to prayerfully consider the possibility of writing our own family-oriented bible study, presented in light of the fullness of the faith. We'll see what happens, I guess...

So, there you have it, 8 terribly unimportant, extremely random things about me. I'm going to tag fellow-bloggers: Faith, Cathy, Paige, Julie, Becky, Kirsten, Kelli (if your computer is up and running!)the Elm City Mom, and Denise to play. I know some of you others out there have played before, so I tag you all as well.

Just leave a note in the comment section to let us know where to find your post if you play!

Prayer Request Update #2

Our wonderful friend's baby girl was born into eternity yesterday morning. Please keep this family and all those who love them surrounded in prayer. We are all mourning this loss, while holding fast to our faith and rejoicing that she is now fully cured and held tightly in Jesus' arms until we see her again.

Listen to the words of the book of Lamentations:
My soul is deprived of peace,I have forgotten what happiness is;I tell myself my future is lost,all that I hoped for from the Lord.
But I will call this to mind,as my reason to have hope:The favors of the Lord are not exhausted,his mercies are not spent;They are renewed each morning,so great is his faithfulness.My portion is the Lord, says my soul;therefore I will hope in him. Lamentations 3:17-18, 21-24

Prayer Request Update #1

Thank you for the prayers for Baby T. He came through his surgery like a champ, although he was not fond of all the nice people there who were not Mom and Dad. I even have some cute pictures of him pre-op, wearing his teeny, tiny hospital gown. I'll try to post them soon.

More Prayer

Baby T goes this morning for his surgery. Please keep him (and us...and my mother-in-law, who will be holding down the fort with the other kids) in your prayers this morning!

We will update when we get home. Thanks!

Keep praying!

Okay folks, remember our friends who are expecting their sixth baby? Well, tomorrow, they are planning to welcome their new baby! Please continue to hold this family close in prayer as they prepare for the birth. We all can't wait to meet their new arrival.

Every person is a gift from God...a wonderful, marvelous gift!

Try your luck!

There are a couple of great giveaways going on now.

1. What do you think about clothing from The Children's Place? We, here on the ark, LOVE it! So, we were thrilled to find on our most recent shopping trip that they are hosting a summer sweepstakes online now (and for the next 25 days!) You can play one time everyday. They are giving away a FIVE HUNDRED dollar gift card every day for playing the cute little beach themed game they've designed and entering in your mailing address. (There is a spot to enter your cell phone and agree to accept text messages from them for an additional *chance* at a prize, but it is not mandatory). Each time you play, your name is entered in a drawing for a GRAND PRIZE worth $5000!

2. And, if you're looking for something that will not only give you a chance to win some fantastic prizes, but give to a worthy cause at the same time; check out this raffle going on at Danielle Bean's website. This contest ends on Tuesday, June 12th.

What are you waiting for? Go and check them out, you never know, this might be your lucky day!

Taking matters into her own hands



Today was the All-School Picnic at our three oldest kids' school. I think they all enjoyed themselves despite a brief rainstorm and a minor injury on the part of the Boy. The highlight of the day, however, was that the big girls came home with their faces painted. As they settled into their seats in the car, little N sniffled, "I want my face painted, too." "Maybe another day," I answered, thinking the matter settled. You'd think I'd have learned by now, right?



Well, tonight, in the middle of preparing dinner, N tugged at my shirt from below. I looked down to find her staring up at me, both hands masking the majority of her face. "What is it?" I asked quickly before my brain had time to retrieve the obvious answer:





As a friend of mine would say, "Way to be a problem solver, N!"

How'd you get here from there-Part V

Wow! If this wasn't a timely topic for me to discuss...I don't know what would be--language acquisition and adjustment.

A reader writes, "What issues did you have with adjustment and language for your eldest daughter (who by the way is stunning)?"

First, thank you, we think she's stunning, too! But, to answer the question posed, I should first point out that each child will have his or her own unique timetable regarding adjustment and language. This will be dependent on a number of things: age, emotional condition, ease of adaptability in general, and with regard to acquisition of a second language (in this case English) the level of acquisition of the native language (in this case Amharic).

Our children, for the most part have adjusted well to life in America an in our family. There is definitely a difference in the adjustment and language development between an infant (less than 12 months) and a school-aged child. For the purpose of answering the specific question, this entry will address the adjustment of an older child.

What is interesting to me, however, is that this particular topic comes up as we are currently working through some decisions related to language development. In the case of either language development or the adjustment/attachment process, one thing seems clear--the child's first exposures and experiences will affect the present outcomes. Now, this is not to say that a child who has poor literacy skills in their first language will NEVER learn a second language or that a child coming from a neglectful or abusive situation will NEVER attach/adjust properly. It only helps to show that the attachment/adjustment will be easier given a secure primary attachment in the child's early development and the second language development will be easier if a high level of literacy was achieved in the first language.

Towson University offers a very thorough look at Language Development in Internationally Adopted Children here and specifically addresses Language Learning in Older Adopted Children here. There is a great deal of information available for parents, but much of it takes some looking and it should NOT be assumed that the child's school will do it for you. If they do so, great; but be prepared to advocate for your child's needs from the start. We have been blessed with a good friend, who has a great deal of experience in ELL both as a teacher, writer and general super-genius! She has given us oodles of support for which we are most grateful and pointed us toward some amazing resources.

When H started school in January (about a month after arriving in the US), we were confident that our parish school would be the appropriate placement for her. Our main concern at that time, and still today, is that she "fits in" with her siblings and peers, feels accepted and *normal*, and is showing progress in her acadmic work as well as her language acquisition. Considering that when she came home, she and I poured over K-level books, focusing on letter identification and initial consonant sounds, we're thrilled to find that she is working on reading books such as the Junie B. Jones series. While she still gets stuck on some unfamiliar words (it's quite hard to know what a word is when you've never spoken it before!) or names (such as Beatrice and Gracie); it encourages us to hear her call out, "Hey Mom, m-i-n-u-t-e, is that 'minute'?" or "Hey Dad, k-i-t-c-h-e-n, is that 'kitchen'?" As we continue to discern what type of schooling will best meet her needs (both academic AND social-emotional), we will have English Language Proficiency testing conducted next week through our local school district. Through the Illinois State Board of Education, we also have found the ELP Standards posted, including a wonderful video series that can be viewed online using RealPlayer. The Overview of Second Language Acquisition should be 15 minutes of required viewing for all educators, not just those who work in the field of ELL, as it gives an excellent description of what Second Language Acquisition is and the differences between social (BICS) and academic (CALP) language learning.

Stay tuned as we proceed with the testing and pray for discernment on our school placement decision.

Wash for Life

The Word Among Us, a monthly publication containing daily scripture meditations and articles pertinent to various aspects of faith life contained an article that caught my eye this month.

One of the testimonials that was given contained this quote:

“My favorite story from last year was one I heard about a youth group where the kids were initially happy to be part of the car wash, but not as comfortable talking about the pro-life cause. They didn’t really know what to say. Well, by the end of the day, they were passing out brochures from a pregnancy care center and talking to people about it. It’s this kind of active role that will have a lasting impact on them. That’s what we really hope Wash for Life can do for youth.”

As parents trying to make our faith come alive for our children, opportunities like this just make me smile all over. Having taught for almost a decade, and parenting for even longer, it is quite evident that nothing makes a better impression on a child than putting your figurative money where your mouth is. That is, get up and act. Preaching the gospel to my children is much more effective if I use absolutely no words at all, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

Think about it, pray about it, and pass the info along to someone you know who might work with a group of young people who could join in this worthy wash day this fall. Maybe you (yes, you!) have been looking for a pro-life event that your children could share with you; or maybe you might be willing to lead a group yourself? In any case, pray for the people who will come out that day, that many hearts and lives will be touched and the message of the Gospel of Life will be shared for the love of God and the sake of the unborn.

Adoption concerns-Ethiopia examines its adoption policies and procedures

This article, from the New York Times, demonstrates Ethiopia's current struggle to help its orphan children while maintaining the high standards of adoption for which the country has been known.

The article seems fair and unbiased (with the exception of not mentioning our most excellent agency, Adoption Advocates International). The following is a quote, however, that (I think)reflects a common concern that many adoptive parents face:

“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”

As a parent, is it possible to bring a child home to America guilt-free, knowing that doing so, in the case of those not *officially* orphaned, leaves a mother's arms empty half way across the world? Our children's birth mother is dead, surviving only a short while after the birth of Baby T, and still, our children's loss of their first mom and first family (who cared for them briefly as best as their resources allowed) is painful to think about.

Many have said that adoption is not the ideal; but at present, only the best option to ensure health and well-being for a growing number of children in need of parental love and support. I would tend to agree with that. I would also agree with another adoptive mom who said (and I am wildly paraphrasing here) that if her adoptive children grew up happy, healthy and well-adjusted; viewing her and her husband as the "really nice American people who raised her" then that was okay with her, too.

As for the choice whether to *give* money to the birth family (if, in that case, that was all it took) to "keep" their children or to spend tens of thousands of dollars on the adoption process, I can see where that argument is headed, but I'm not sure it's the ideal answer either. We've debated this issue in our agency's forum. Many families have some ties to some or all of their adopted children's first family and are aware of their great needs, but to *give* money, in any amount, to those families might imply that their children's lives were being bought and sold to wealthy, American couples; certainly not the impression any reputable agency would want to present. Delivering the money to the governments in some of these countries? I'm not sure anyone would want to open that can of worms either. Considering some of the corruption that already exsists in some places, the potential for stoking that fire with cash is just plain scary.

So, in the meanwhile, countries and waiting families walk a tightrope towards one another, stopping now and again, to check their balance in the hopes that no one falls.

Can you hear me now?

Motherhood is full of gifts, some obvious and in-your-face, and others not so much. One of the more subtle ones, I think, has to do with a mother's intuition. You know, that funny, inexplicable feeling that we, as mothers, have about our children...often with regard to their well-being. It's one of those feelings that might appear, on its surface, to only be available to the biological mom who has the unspoken connection that comes from carrying a child for 9 months. I'm learning, as I go, however; that this gift crosses the adoption barrier with ease and surely by God's grace, allows we adoptive mothers to tune-in to our adopted children in the same way.

In late April, Baby T was seen for an ear infection and given 2 weeks of antibiotic therapy. At his follow-up appointment, his ear infection had not resolved and had actually worsened. He was given another 2 week course of antibiotic therapy and was referred to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. He was seen at the end of May by the specialist who found both ears to be infected still. After reviewing his situation, and at the advice of the specialist, we have scheduled him for the placement of Pressure Equilization Tubes in both ears during the first week of June. This procedure will allow the fluid to drain out of the ears and promote the healing of the lining of the middle ear. In addition to alleviating his ear pain from the chronic infections, it will also allow for the appropriate hearing necessary for speech and language development.

End of story, right? Not by a long shot.

After a number of times, where I thought to myself H's speaking volume is, at times, quite loud. Upon talking to her, I learned that she remembered some ear troubles of her own as a child, which were treated with onion (rubbed on the outer part of her affected ear). I put aside the thought for a while, but it kept popping up again and again. So, standing in the ENT's office, I thought, I may as well ask about having her evaluated. He said, "Of course," and arranged to see her just 2 days later (can you imagine a specialist with that short a wait time!)
So, at our request, we also had H’s ears and hearing evaluated. I watched as the doctor removed a considerable wax build-up from both ears and, smiled to myself as H sat up and remarked how much louder everything sounded! Thinking that we would just finish up quickly with the hearing screening, we moved to the next room for the audiogram. If you've never seen this test performed before, the patient sits in an enclosed sound-proof room with a window to see the audiologist. As I was concerned that testing environment might cause her anxiety, I asked and was allowed to sit with her on my lap inside the testing "box". A headset was placed on her and the instruction to raise your hand when you hear the beep was given. As I sat in the box, listening to the ever increasing volume of beeps (yes, even I could hear them) and staring at H's hand in her lap, I began to suspect we had trouble. My suspicion was confirmed when we emerged from the booth and the audiologist asked H to show her which ear she used to talk on the telephone. She held an *imaginary* phone up to her left ear, and I questioned her to make certain she understood what was being asked, "You use the other ear to talk on the phone sometimes, right?" She looked at me and shook her head. The audiologist spoke, "I'm not surprised," she said, "her left ear is fine, but she has profound hearing loss in her right ear." We are currently investigating which, if any, therapies are appropriate for her at this time. Some that are available were not recommended based on her present age and might be more appropriate as she gets older, but we did leave with a laundry list of accomodations to help her teacher during classroom instruction (but that's a post for another day).

So, we now have a child who is learning English and is basically deaf in one ear, and it's a gift.
It's a gift because together, as parent and child, we read each others unspoken language and discovered this; and, as parent and child, we'll work through it together learning from each other as we go.

Do you know this young mother's story? Perhaps you already do. Or perhaps, her story mirrors yours...or your spouse's...or parent's or child's.

There is nothing remarkable, in this day and age, about someone battling cancer. Certainly you know, or someone you know knows, someone who is valiantly fighting that good fight.

But what is so remarkable, and the reason why this story is different; is the courageous faith and trust in the Lord that this woman possesses. Her spirit on, what I can only hazard to guess is, a journey fraught with ups, downs, unknowns and unimaginables is taking the of menacing stare of cancer and turning it into a joy-filled battle cry for victory in Christ.

And what's even more amazing? She's leading hundreds (maybe more?) people to the battlefield with her for the win.

So, if you haven't yet done so, click on the button above, and read her story. I'd tell you to go and offer her your encouragement, too, but she and her God have cornered the market on success stories; so maybe just let her know you'll pray for her, for her husband and three small children.

I guarantee you'll leave with more than you entered.

"Today God is loving the world through you and through me and through all those who are his love and compassion in the world." Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta

Babies and language...

HT to my sister, Lizardo, for this interesting article on babies and their ability to process all types of cues when it comes to language acquisition.

Toddlers and thinking...

Comment by N after our friend, who is pregnant and due on Saturday, left our house today:
"Mama, I think that Mrs. L might be having a baby!" Observant, eh?

Tweens and sharing wisdom with siblings...

To his 9 and almost 9 year old sisters: "The reason why people go to high school dances together is because it would cost too much money to go alone." The Boy is a pragmatist if nothing else.

May Birthdays

Four years ago this past Monday, we welcomed home our third daughter, CB. Born the day after her Dad's birthday, she has been a joyful child, full of life and emotion, since she arrived. Here are some pictures of her family birthday dinner (as well as some pictures of the cards that B and H made for Dad's birthday).

Cards from the two big girls

Message inside B's card to her Dad...a Hallmark moment of sorts

So that's what it's for!

My kind neighbor called the other day and asked if I was still having ant problems. After telling her "yes", she offered to send her son, the Boy's friend, down the next day with a product that had taken care of their own ant problem a number of years ago. I immediately agreed.

The next afternoon, her son arrived after school bearing the goods. As he stepped through the front door, he handed me a plastic container designed with a convenient hand grip and the lid on the bottom. His preschool groupies, N and CB, had also come to welcome him. N, with her ant spotting eagle eyes, noticed approximately 4 small ants on the floor near the front door. She cried out in fear, as well taught by her mama, and I (still holding the container of ant-poisony goodness) leaned over and with four quick thunks, *removed* the ants using the lid of the container as my instrument of attack. N was quite pleased with my results.

My pre-teen exterminator, however, looked at me quizzically, obviously unimpressed.

"Ummm, Mrs. M...you're supposed to take the lid off and use the stuff that's inside to kill them," he grinned.

Smart boy. Lucky for me he came with the container. ;-)

Adoption Round-Up

Read more about adoption here or stop by and add a story of your own.

What am I?



I sat at our final soccer game of the season on Saturday, in the warm afternoon sunshine of a late spring day. We decided to take the three littlest ones to the game while the Boy was leisurely returning from spending the previous night at grandma's house.



I'm pretty sure a soccer game was played, but given the whirling dervishes that accompanied me; in addition to the cell phone calls from the absent Boy; and, of course, the competing cries for attention from the budding soccer stars, I was becoming frustrated that I might actually not see what I came to watch.



Suddenly I saw, as both girls took the field, what I had really come to see.



As CB and N, vyed for space on my lap, I realized...



I am...a comfy seat, a back rest, a portable armchair.



I am...a shoelace tie-er, ponytail fix-er, shin guard-adjuster.



I am...a portable snack shack, an oasis of juice boxes, a gum giver.



I am...a cheerleader, a customer care phone rep, a chauffeur.



I am...a restroom attendant, a hand sanitizer, a (gasp!) soccer mom.



AND



I am...waved to, smiled at, called for, hugged and kissed and squeezed on, looked for, pointed to



BUT



most of all,



I am loved.

Try not to laugh

The other night at dinner, N's behavior was, shall we say, not fit for dining at the Waldorf.

HRH Dad issued the edict to the rest of the diners that they not encourage the little stand-up comic by laughing at her.

As you can imagine, the intentional ignoring of our resident table clown only forced her to try harder for our laughs. And, as you might also imagine, it was working. While the older children were able to muffle their laughs when they caught a sharp glance from Dad, CB was not as successful. She looked up at her Dad and between giggles, said, "I can't help it. I just can't stop thinking about laughing."

I glanced up (because I, too, had hidden my smirking face), to find that the whole table was laughing--Dad included; while the little comedian sat back and smiled, satisfied with a job well done.

Ants, 1 --Family, 0

You may have won this round, creepy little picnic crashers, but the game is far from over. Just because you've located the front door AND found a way into the dining room that I have yet to discover, doesn't mean you've won. Not by a long shot. Just wait to see what happens in round two.

And I thought I only had one

brother, that is. After seeing this video (that I cannot believe I am a full six days late in seeing) I'm not so sure. In case I'm not the only person left in America who hasn't seen it, here it is...

Live Free or Die

Apparently, New Hampshire's state motto not only appealed to my parents when they relocated there a couple of years ago, but to the die-hard natives and the local black bear population as well.

Be careful taking out the trash, Mom and Dad,CNN doesn't need any more excuses to visit the Notch (minus the Fourth of July "Duck Derby") this year!

Chez Mom

To the cheers of N and CB, "Hooray," they cheered, "Mommy is a hair cutter;" I dug out the home clippers and decided to trim up my unwilling client's hair.

So, these are for Daddy who can't wait until he gets home to see his little boy's new look!

It's okay, I guess. I mean I'm no beauty school dropout, but when God was handing out the gift of home hairstyling, I was clearly out to lunch. I think he'll be nice and cool for summer, but I *miss* his fuzzy head. At least it'll grow back!

Dancers, Drummers and Culture Camp

I received an email from one of the parent-volunteers who coordinates the Ethiopian Adoption Family Culture Camp weekend in August. It is held in Wisconsin, not too far north of Milwaukee. If you are interested, check out this link to read more about the details.

You can also read more about this active group -- Illinois Ethiopian Kids -- and learn about the many exciting events (Mesgana Dancers, Djembe Drummers, and more) going on in the area.

ELL Resources

Thanks to JJ for sending along this most excellent resource. You are so truly the ELL *queen* and oh, how I wish you worked at my children's school!

Check out the Illlinois Resource Center. From their website:

Since 1972, the Illinois Resource Center (IRC) has provided assistance to teachers and administrators serving linguistically and culturally diverse students.

Even if you don't reside in Illinois, click on the link for "resources" on the upper left hand side and you'll find many national resources and programs available to English language learners as well as the parents and teachers who support them!

Online Magazine for Girls

Looking for a magazine for your daughters? Check out Philomena Girl. Here's some of what you'll find:

• Learn how to make today's style work for you!Jeans too low? Shirts too short? Here are some great ideas to make anything look as sweet as you are!
  
• What's new here? Here's Ella Gunderson, a young girl who asked a major department store to sell the kind of clothes she wanted to buy and guess what? They listened!
  
• Who is this Philomena? You're gonna be such good friends!
  
• Free mp3 downloads of pop songs based on traditional prayers. Also, a guide to help you choose music that suits both your personal rhythm & eternal soul!
  
• See what other Philomena Girls have written and share youre thoughts here!
  
• It's Spring! Here's some great stuff to do for Spring!
  
• Pray! Pray! Nothing else matters if we don't spend some time here!
  
• Stuff for Philomena Girls to buy!
  
• Cool places for Philomena

(HT: Dawn for this link)

Ain't No Picnic

If one were to have, for example, a colony of picnic ants who decided they had squatter's rights to your kitchen; what might one do?

I've looked around a little and as a costly back-up have the name of a recommended exterminator, but I'm wondering if we can find a happy medium where the ants and I can come to a mutual parting of ways. I'm thinking a little more involved than the ant "traps" that currently dot the landscape of my kitchen yet something short of burning the whole house down and building a new one.

My repetoire is about exhausted. Searching the internet I've come up with these gems:

1. Clean your room and pick up food wrappers (My family or the ants? I'd take the ants 10 to 1)


2. Essential peppermint oil (at least this suggestion *smells* good)


3. Follow the ants to see where they live (and I thought I had too much time on my hands)


4. Draw a chalk line (and what? dare them to cross it?)


5. get TWO GALLONS of ant/bug spray and use spray your house (what, only TWO?)


6. Refrain from storing any food out in the open (see below for my epiphany moment on this one)


7. Sweep or vacuum the kitchen floor weekly (I don't know about you all, but in my house waiting a week to sweep or vacuum would bring in ants from neighboring subdivisions)

Some of you may remember during my college days, a few of us (you know who you are!) babysat for some people who held some, shall we say, alternative parenting/living/eating/etc...beliefs. One of the families had an ant problem, which we had been warned about as the *solution* they came up with was to (I'm not kidding here, people) write notes to the ants politely explaining the family's proprietory status in the house and requesting that the ants find a more suitable dwelling place. My then boyfriend/now husband suggested once that we write a note back to them, on behalf of the ants, explaining their point of view and how they would love to find someplace else, but with the cost of move and it being the middle of a school year and all...But then again, these are ALSO the same people who left little plates of food and drink out for their ancestors to eat.

Okay, wait a minute, I think *I* just solved THEIR ant problem...clearly they hadn't seen bullet number 6 above.

So, swell, the crazy people I babysat for 15 years ago are free of ants. And me? I think I'd better go sweep the kitchen floor again.

Instead of...

calling the school to report the Boy's absence (due to the never ending stomach bug on the ark) or blow-drying my hair in order to take B to a dentist appointment---this seemed much more interesting.

"Nearest Book, Fifth Sentence"

Here's what you do. Grab the nearest book and...
1. Open it to page 161.
2. Find the fifth full sentence.
3. Post the text of the sentence along with these instructions.
4. Don't search around looking for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.

The book nearest to me, The Twenty-One Indespensable Qualities of a Leader, has (of course) 156 pages. The book on the other side of it (so the next closest) was my bible.

Here's my sentence:

"Then he said to Korah and all his company, "In the morning the LORD will make known who is his, and who is holy, and who will be allowed to approach him; the one whom he will choose he will allow to approach him." Numbers 16:5

What's yours?

Mother's Day Revisited

Mother's Day 2007

Why didn't anyone warn me? I guess, really, the onus is with me. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't.

It's not like I haven't realized that Mother's Day might be difficult for those whose mothers are no longer a part of their lives (for whatever reason). I taught grade school long enough that I learned to temper my words around this holiday: "Okay boys and girls, this gift we're making could be for your mother, as Mother's Day is coming, but you might also decide you'd like to give it to your grandmother or aunt or some other special woman you know."  My own family tree even includes the far-too-early passing of maternal grandmother while my mom was just a child. So, you'd think it might have dawned on me. Instead, I woke up this morning, not really sure what to do with today.

Whispers of, "She's awake." "No, she's not." "Yes, she is, one of her eyes is open." were quickly replaced with giggly children presenting hand-crafted gems (and the not without notice Yahoo's "Singing Baby Quartet" ecard). We had planned a lovely picnic after church. The day felt full of potential for lots of gushy mommy-moments. A few times today, however, my thoughts wandered into more serious territory as I wondered if the two newest additions to our family were--in all likelihood--trying to celebrate this happy family day while the specter of their first mother's death lurked nearby.

"What does it mean to sleep beneath the heart of another person, safe and warm, for almost a year? No scientist can truly say. But it must have some visceral power that we cannot really understand, only intuit."

The quote above is taken from an article published in Good Housekeeping magazine nearly 20 years ago. (And is unfortunately impossible to find online)  The author, Anna Quindlen, wrote "On Losing Your Mother," about her own mother's death. It is a very moving article and one which my own mom shared with a very dear friend of mine when she, too, lost her mother at a young age. It left me thinking about what we could do to make today a celebration of our newest daughter's  mothers (yes, I said motherS) America mom and Ethiopia mom. I'm thinking that we'll light a candle, pray a special prayer and see how that goes. But I'm left with a feeling that no matter what, it just won't be enough.

"There's just a hole in my heart," writes Ms. Quindlen, "and nothing to plug
it. The truth is that there is no one, ever, in your life like your mother."

And now, I find, there's a hole in my heart as well.

How'd you get here from there-Part IV (updated with picture)

How do you prepare siblings for an adoption? Adopting a baby? The preparation would seem pretty much the same as preparing for a birth in the family. But adopting an older child? Well, it might be a little different. People tend to gush over little babies, especially very adorable Ethiopian ones, but it might be harder for a sibling whose place in the family is about to be usurped or well-meaning family and friends to visualize a positive outcome when an older child(ren) is (are) adopted.
Take a hint from Mary Magdalene. What a beautiful example of steadfast love. Remember the story of Mary Magdalene on the morning of the Resurrection? Scripture tells us (Jn 20:1-2) that she ran to the tomb "while it was still dark" even in her sorrow and exhaustion because of her great love for Jesus.
So, what's the point? It is simply that our great love, our sheer desire, which can be all consuming when welcoming a new child to the family, was what we wanted to convey to our kids. How'd we do it? Same as Mary did. We ran, full speed and head first towards our loves and we grabbed the hands of our four children along as we ran. We talked frequently both as a whole family and in smaller one-on-one conversations about our new kids. We prayed for them nightly, at first in a general sense, but later-once we knew them-we prayed for them by name. Our children all accompanied us to the store to select items for the "Welcome Bags"--everyone was able to include something. They helped select and/or take photos for the Family Albums. We prepared bedrooms and selected photo frames to begin displaying our "new kids" pictures (that we searched for together on our agency's Snapfish account) around the house in prominent locations. At the suggestion of a friend, we added our two new chidren to our family "operations center" (shown right) prior to their arrival and even selected job cards for them each Sunday. The "resident" kids pitched in to help do the "new kids" jobs until their homecoming, which was a real motivator for our two older children to anticipate the swift arrival of their chore helpers! The children, who were old enough, wrote letters (on their own) to send. The younger ones drew pictures that they signed, "Love, Your Sister N..." When a stumbling block occured, we shared our sadness with the children and when news that filled us with joy came, we shared that, too. As a matter of fact, we celebrated with a special dinner when our court case passed. It was just that important.
Our oldest son (12) prepared for their arrival, in a very real way, as he accompanied my husband to Ethiopia to bring our kids home. Our three girls (8, 3, and 2) helped ready the house and make giant "welcome home" signs to bring to the airport for their arrival.
Did it make a difference? I can't say for sure as this is the only time we've adopted. But what I can say for certain, however, is that by the time H and Baby T walked through the customs gate that our children ran those final few steps into each other's arms in what might have seemed to the unknowing onlooker a long-awaited reunion.

Roll On **(Updated for the un-ecosavy such as myself)**

After spending the past 48 hours with a handful of stomach-sick kids here on the ark, I have become intimately acquainted with our downstairs powder room. I know exactly what can and cannot be found in the small basket positioned on the toilet tank (hand cream, hair "pretties", one black pick, one hairbrush and the head of a Polly Pocket). I know exactly which corners and baseboards need a thorough cleaning (all of them). I also know that located on the small, metal trash can with lid was an extra roll of toilet paper. This is a must have for a main-floor powder room in a houseful of 8 people lest we find our guests having to, ahem, drip dry.

After tucking the five littlest ones in to bed last night, I meandered past said room and noticed that the toilet paper roll was empty. My eyes quickly darted to the spot where I had repeatedly seen the extra roll during the day. Lo and behold, it wasn't there. I couldn't believe it. I looked in the trash can, behind the toilet, in the basket, even in the toilet itself (yes, that's been known to happen here on occasion), but to no avail. I called out to the Boy, the only child still awake, "Do you know where the toilet paper is?" He glanced up at me, shook his head and went back to his "oldest kid" zone-out fest. I called up to the two older girls, who had just been tucked in for bed. Again, no clue. Honestly, I was starting to question my sanity. In a powder room no bigger than a coat closet, where I had logged an easy 6 hours over the past 2 days, I thought maybe I had missed it. So, I checked again. Nothing. Not even a spare square left as a sign that my mental health wasn't totally deteriorating. Finally, defeated, I headed up to our bathroom to grab a new roll PLUS an new spare. I stopped in the nursery on my way where Baby T and N were snuggled in the cozy, darkness of their cribs. That was when I heard it, a quiet voice said, "The paper towels are in the basement." I looked and found N, with her two big blue eyes peering out from under her blanket, and asked, "Did YOU put the toilet paper in the basement?" She answered without hesitation, "Yes." (This next question may seem unnecessary as the mystery was solved, but I couldn't help it, I had to ask.) "N, WHY did you put the toilet paper in the basement?" Again, quick to respond, she said, "Because I didn't want anyone to find it."

Of course, now why didn't I think of that?

**If you, too, live under a large-diesel fueled un-ecofriendly rock you can click here to get the inside poop (pun totally intended) on Julie's Sheryl Crow comment. ;-)**

First Communion in Pictures

Yesterday was such a beautiful day. Both girls were so happy and we were all so proud of them. In the program, one of the songs played was, as you may remember, a favorite of mine. The moment I saw that song, I knew my chances of making it out of the church dry-eyed were slim.

What a blessing when your big brother is asked to serve at your First Holy Communion!

In just a little over three months, H received three sacraments! Talk about a grace-filled way to start the year!!! Our pastor, shown here, was present for every one of them.

B and H's special friend, who came to see her friends on their big day. The girls can't wait to go to her First Holy Communion in just two more weeks.

Another family picture...

We were so blessed to share this day with Grandma, Grandpa and lots of aunts and uncles! And thank goodness we had Grandma there to walk the ever-squirmy Baby T in the back of the church.

The Last Word

(A friend asked yesterday if I thought H had become comfortable enough with us to "have a bad day." There is no doubt in my mind that the answer is an emphatic YES! She can be as annoying, nerve-grating, persistent and stubborn as her mother, oops, I mean siblings. Here's a little interchange that those of you with children--adopted or not--might relate to illustrate my point).

Sometimes H talks a lot, but sometimes she will be quiet and moody. I don't always know if it is related to how she's feeling or if sometimes she is just more quiet/loud than others. Either way it is tiring. She can also be very insistent about things that she doesn't completely understand.

For example, she will ask (on a Saturday), "Tomorrow, school?" and I will respond, "No, tomorrow is Sunday." She then, very matter-of-factly will announce, "NO. Tomorrow school." This interchange will go on for a few rounds until I pick up the calendar and say, "Okay, look, here's today. Here's tomorrow. Tomorrow is Sunday. There is no school on Sunday. Remember?" To which she replies, "Oh right." and skips off leaving me emotionally exhausted from battling over a fact with someone who is certain I am wrong about said fact even when it's a black or white issue. (Is the sky blue? No, the sky is not blue. Yes, remember it was blue yesterday...and on and on...)

Language issue, maybe? Preteen girl, perhaps? Annoying quality to her mother---definitely.