Ain't No Picnic

If one were to have, for example, a colony of picnic ants who decided they had squatter's rights to your kitchen; what might one do?

I've looked around a little and as a costly back-up have the name of a recommended exterminator, but I'm wondering if we can find a happy medium where the ants and I can come to a mutual parting of ways. I'm thinking a little more involved than the ant "traps" that currently dot the landscape of my kitchen yet something short of burning the whole house down and building a new one.

My repetoire is about exhausted. Searching the internet I've come up with these gems:

1. Clean your room and pick up food wrappers (My family or the ants? I'd take the ants 10 to 1)


2. Essential peppermint oil (at least this suggestion *smells* good)


3. Follow the ants to see where they live (and I thought I had too much time on my hands)


4. Draw a chalk line (and what? dare them to cross it?)


5. get TWO GALLONS of ant/bug spray and use spray your house (what, only TWO?)


6. Refrain from storing any food out in the open (see below for my epiphany moment on this one)


7. Sweep or vacuum the kitchen floor weekly (I don't know about you all, but in my house waiting a week to sweep or vacuum would bring in ants from neighboring subdivisions)

Some of you may remember during my college days, a few of us (you know who you are!) babysat for some people who held some, shall we say, alternative parenting/living/eating/etc...beliefs. One of the families had an ant problem, which we had been warned about as the *solution* they came up with was to (I'm not kidding here, people) write notes to the ants politely explaining the family's proprietory status in the house and requesting that the ants find a more suitable dwelling place. My then boyfriend/now husband suggested once that we write a note back to them, on behalf of the ants, explaining their point of view and how they would love to find someplace else, but with the cost of move and it being the middle of a school year and all...But then again, these are ALSO the same people who left little plates of food and drink out for their ancestors to eat.

Okay, wait a minute, I think *I* just solved THEIR ant problem...clearly they hadn't seen bullet number 6 above.

So, swell, the crazy people I babysat for 15 years ago are free of ants. And me? I think I'd better go sweep the kitchen floor again.