The rest of the story

Here are the photos from what I like to refer to as hiking "lite". I have one picture that I'm not including here because it is absolutely begging to be used with another photo in a flashback/flashforward post. Check back again soon to look for it, but for now, enjoy these...

Hiking

I am not what you might call an "outside" person. Those of you who have known me for a long time will attest to this fact. You will recall numerous outdoor activities involving prehistoric-looking insects, the threat of dirt and despicable heat and humidity and my noticable absence. It is much preferable to have access to water that runs from a faucet, not a stream, and an outlet for my hairdryer. There are many things I would give up in this world, my Marriott Rewards number is not one of them.

So when we visit NH, I have panic-inducing flashbacks of the forced death marches family hikes that occurred in my youth. My parents love to recount far-fetched tales about my supposed behavior on these outings. Apparently, as a child, my preferred method of hiking was to pathetically appeal to a sympathetic stranger for a "ride" on their back--the original hitch-hike; and, hey, it was the 70s, so hitching a ride was a piece of cake.

Fast forward to summer 2007, in the same White Mountain region, with the same trails minus the hippies (okay some of the hippies, it is still northern NH) willing to help a sister out with a piggy-back ride here or there. I find myself in an uncomfortable predicament. The people who now accompany me to the Great North Woods want to do things like, well, hike. You can see my dilemma. Out of sheer love for my children, I agree to one "hike", which ends up being more like a walk, on a paved path, that happens to go through some trees and near some water. It's a win-win situation, or so it seems; but the children get greedy. They've been hiking and they've developed a taste for it. They want to go again. Fortunately, the same people who liked to drag me up and down the sides of mountains are happy to do the same with my children.

Miracle Worker

(def.) one who is able to take the chocolate chip cookie dough AFTER all the children have *tested* it and can STILL spread it out in the pan.

What's it worth?

Jena at Preparing for Rain shared this link the other day about adoptive parents dealing with the corruption that exists in some adoption situations. Although the country in question was Cambodia, this is definitely an country non-specific issue. As you even hear, albeit infrequently, that it happens in the good old US of A.
One fly in the ointment of this issue is something that our adoption agency has been cautious about concerns giving gifts or money to help our adopted childrens' "left behind" family. Even when it seems to fly in the face of the care and compassion we want to offer our adopted children, their extended family and their country; their concern is valid based on horrific situations that have occured in countless adoption programs-and yes, I would venture to guess, even the most respected ones.
As with most benevolent adoptive parents, such thoughts would never even enter my mind; but the reality is that the situation is desperate enough for some people (some well-meaning and others not-so-much) that if there even exsisted the slightest implication that kids=cash (payable in US dollars) then they'd auction them off to the highest bidder.
Our agency has organized a separate group of adoptive families to brainstorm ways to help the extended families, who fill our hearts and minds as soon as we know of them, but the answers haven't come quickly. The obvious solutions of the promise of jobs, schooling, money or other goods is a questionable carrot dangling in front of some unethical noses. And while many families would not sacrifice their young for any amount, there are some for whom the *bait* would be just too tempting.
How then do adoptive parents fill in these gaps that range from mild cracks in the system to gaping chasms in some country programs? Are there programs out there that meet these needs? If so, are we being vocal in support of them and are we then putting our money where our collective mouths are and investigating the motivation and methods used by the adoption agencies before committing thousands of dollars to their programs. We owe it to our adopted children, their families, and their countries to do so.

Stickerfest!

If you missed it in the comments below, check out my sister-in-law's friend's blog. They are collecting stickers to cover their ENTIRE vehicle! They're looking for stickers from blog readers everywhere. If nothing else, you've got to see the pictures of the sticker progression! We'll be sending a sticker from the ark's travels, feel free to do the same and spread the word. You can find GTI Sticker Quest in my sidebar or you can click on the links in this post.

Be careful what you wish for

Last night at our women's bible study, one of the discussion topics (out of Danielle Bean's book Mom to Mom, Day to Day) was on trying to survive while swimming in a sea of housework. It reminded me of an article of Erma Bombeck's that I read while logging all our driving miles last week. I promised the women in the group I'd share it with them. So here it is ladies, this one's for you-

by Erma Bombeck

No More Oatmeal Kisses--January 29, 1969
A young mother writes: "I know you've written before about the empty-nest syndrome, that lonely period after the children are grown and gone. Right now I'm up to my eyeballs in laundry and muddy boots. The baby is teething; the boys are fighting. My husband just called and said to eat without him, and I fell off my diet. Lay it on me again, will you?"

OK. One of these days, you'll shout, "Why don't you kids grow up and act your age!" And they will.

Or, "You guys get outside and find yourselves something to do . . . and don't slam the door!" And they won't.

You'll straighten up the boys' bedroom neat and tidy: bumper stickers discarded, bedspread tucked and smooth, toys displayed on the shelves. Hangers in the closet. Animals caged. And you'll say out loud, "Now I want it to stay this way." And it will.

You'll prepare a perfect dinner with a salad that hasn't been picked to death and a cake with no finger traces in the icing, and you'll say, "Now, there's a meal for company." And you'll eat it alone.You'll say, "I want complete privacy on the phone. No dancing around. No demolition crews. Silence! Do you hear?" And you'll have it.

No more plastic tablecloths stained with spaghetti. No more bedspreads to protect the sofa from damp bottoms. No more gates to stumble over at the top of the basement steps. No more clothespins under the sofa. No more playpens to arrange a room around.No more anxious nights under a vaporizer tent. No more sand on the sheets or Popeye movies in the bathroom. No more iron-on patches, rubber bands for ponytails, tight boots or wet knotted shoestrings.

Imagine. A lipstick with a point on it. No baby-sitter for New Year's Eve. Washing only once a week. Seeing a steak that isn't ground. Having your teeth cleaned without a baby on your lap.No PTA meetings. No car pools. No blaring radios. No one washing her hair at 11 o'clock at night. Having your own roll of Scotch tape.

Think about it. No more Christmas presents out of toothpicks and library paste. No more sloppy oatmeal kisses. No more tooth fairy. No giggles in the dark. No knees to heal, no responsibility.

Only a voice crying, "Why don't you grow up?" and the silence echoing, "I did."

It finally happened

July 14, 2007 my *little* brother and his girlfriend became Mr. and Mrs. my *little* brother. The ceremony was beautiful as they were surrounded by their family and friends who witnessed their vows. Well, surrounded by most of their family anyway; a 15 month-old, who shall remain nameless, decided to practice his opera audition just prior to the start of the nuptials and, in turn, joined his Daddy a floor below to wait for the instant replay.

Back upstairs, the nieces (and the non-screeching nephew) presented themselves for picture taking.

But, you didn't read this far to see pictures of all those people...The two that you stopped by to see are right here, looking charming as ever.

The picture just does not do the two of them justice. They both looked wonderful and so very happy. The wedding reception continued until late into the evening and was attended by a small group of family and friends. My aunts and uncles and some of my cousins made the drive North from CT and NJ to share in their day. It was a great chance for us to see them, some of them for the first time in over a year. It was also a treat to meet the friend (and blog reader) of my newly-minted sister-in-law and her husband. It's a funny thing to meet someone for the first time who already knows your family's quirks and the cast of characters just from regular blog reading. Before the ceremony was over, each of the fathers of the bride and groom offered their best wishes with a blessing and a toast. My dad read a beautiful Irish wedding blessing, which I'd never heard before and I'll leave you with today:

May your mornings bring joy and your evenings bring peace. May your troubles grow few as your blessings increase. May the saddest day of your future Be no worse than the happiest day of your past. May your hands be forever clasped in friendship And your hearts joined forever in love. Your lives are very special, God has touched you in many ways. May his blessings rest upon you And fill all your coming days.

And speaking of travel...

We've got lots of stories and pictures and more stories. We spent the better part of 10 days on the road or mooching off of enjoying the hospitality of friends and family alike across two time zones.

While the children sat angelic and well-mannered (ahem) throughout the entire trip...

I passed my time in the front seat enjoying the scenery.

H learned one "ark" trip rule very quickly-it is not worth repeatedly asking if we are still in Pennsylvania or how much longer we will be in Pennsylvania or what time it will be when we leave Pennsylvania-because a funny thing happens: the more you ask, the longer Pennsylvania gets. The good news is that eventually she stopped asking and the mind-numbing thrill ride that is I-80 through the entire state of Pennsylvania released us from its clutches and we arrived without incident at all of our arranged locations:

• Pizza at Carmela's in NY with the Greens; where we got to meet the newest family member!



• The SJHS condo in CT; our "price was just right" lodging the night before the wedding



• Chez Foi in MA; where we stayed during the wedding and received an unexpected visit from Pettey (who made us some oh-so-cute summer purses so our sensible Midwestern handbags didn't bring the East coast fashion scene to a screeching halt)



• The Moose Drop Inn in NH; where we ran Grandma and Grandpa B ragged with one solid week of ark-inducing fun

I'll get the pictures and some of the stories up later tonight or tomorrow.

Adoption Round-Up #3


Suzanne's talking about the travel piece of adoption. You can read about the Boy and the Captain's travels in Ethiopia here as well as stories of other families travel adventures. You can also add your own adoption travel story. Go on over and check it out!

No place like it

Home, that is. We've just returned from over 2200 miles of travel and are making pathetic attempts to convince ourselves that we really should unload the car before the remaining fries and nuggets under the baby's carseat fashion themselves into something that might actually unload the car itself. Lots of stories and pictures to share, but they'll have to wait until tomorrow.

He said it

As the Boy was perusing our July calendar.

Boy: Whose anniversary is tomorrow?

Me: That was last Thursday and it was my mom and dad. They've been married 38 years.

Boy: Wow.

Me: Yeah, that's a long time to be married to someone.

Boy: Yeah...especially (Grandma adds: TO) someone like Grandpa.

Product (RED)

Just a few weeks ago, Gap joined with a handful of other major retailers to sell Gap(RED) products whose proceeds will go towards the treatment of tuberculosis, malaria and HIV/AIDS. From their website:

In less than four years, the Fund has achieved some substantial results.
By January 2007, Global Fund financing provided:
*770,000 people with treatment for HIV and AIDS
*nearly 9 million people with voluntary HIV testing
*more than 1 million orphans with care and support
*2 million people with treatment for tuberculosis
*more than 22 million people treated for malaria
*nearly 18 million families with insecticide-treated mosquito nets

If that wasn't a good enough reason to support the work they are doing, check out this cute outfit that is offered by Gap(RED)! The bad news is that it is only available up to a 24mos. size... WHICH MEANS...The good news is that Baby T will have to get one soon!

Want this badge?

The Biggest Thing for Vermont

since, well, Vermont. I can't believe that Illinois Springfielders couldn't turn up 725 dead people to beat out Vermont for this honor.

What did the Pink Panther say...

when he stepped on the ant? Deadant..deadant...deadantdeadantdeadantdeadantdeadant...deadant.

I've been rather hesitant in writing this for a very good reason. It is based on my completely rational fear of my yard being infiltrated by highly intelligent, IT-savvy ants. I just couldn't shake the thought that the queen ant had hooked up her geek squad of workers with little, tiny Dell notebooks and a brand, spanking new wi-fi connection. All of this in a pathetic attempt to read my blog and see what my next onslaught of attacks on their army might be. Be that as it may, I've decided to throw caution to the wind and announce that I think I saw their arms (or are they legs?), waving teensy, weensy white flags the other night. I know they thought they had us beat, but if I gave up that easily, I wouldn't be parenting six children. More than likely, given some of the younger children, I'd be off in a corner, curled up in the fetal position, rocking back and forth as I consummed mass quantities of the homemade vodka the Captain brought back from Poland 10 years ago. It didn't take spells, chants or any other hare-brained schemes to get rid of them. In the end, large quantities of poison ant-deterring spray and powder did the trick. Now, hopefully, the few that may still be lurking out in the backyard aren't the blog hacking type.

In the sidebar

You can now find the posts from my "How'd You Get Here From There?" series located in the sidebar under Adoption FAQs. Keep checking back as I've got a few more posts in the works about our adoption process (yes, including the always promised, but as yet delivered-'timeline' post!) If you have any other topics you'd like to see addressed, feel free to drop me a note in the comments section. I'd love to hear from you!

Thanks, kid

Apparently along with the age of three comes a healthy dose of bravada...

N (to me as I got dressed this morning): Mommy, I have something to tell you.

Me: Yes.

N: Those pants at the store didn't fit you too well.

Me: Thanks for noticing...

Footprints Sequel?

There was a visiting priest at Mass this morning. He spoke in a heavy Irish brogue complemented by the gift of the gab bestowed on the people of the Emerald Isle. During his homily, which was well worth the extra listening that his thick accent required, he spoke about how each of us is given a gift, a special purpose by God to fill our time here on earth. Had he stopped there, it would have been a homily that I would have merely nodded my head and thought to myself, this is the all-important message I've been straining to hear at quarter to eight this morning? But lucky for me, he didn't stop talking and I, by divine intervention, didn't stop listening.
He wrapped up his seemingly commonplace sermon with a reminder for us all about the importance of using those gifts we are given lest God decide to drop us off in a location where their use is demanded of us. I'd never heard this poem before (although many times I've heard the original), and it definitely gave me some early morning food for thought on which I will be chewing for days to come.

BUTTPRINTS IN THE SAND - By Sam Glen

One night I had a wondrous dream.

One set of footprints there was seen,

the footprints of my precious Lord,

but mine were not along the shore.

But then some stranger prints appeared

and I asked the Lord, "What have we here?

Those prints are large and round and neat,

but, Lord, they are too large for feet."

"My child," he said in sober tones,

"For miles I carried you alone.

I challenged you to walk in faith,

but you refused and made me wait."

"You disobeyed, you would not grow.

The walk of faith you would not know.

So I got tired, I got fed up,

and there I dropped you on your butt."

"Because in life there comes a time

when one must fight and one must climb,

when one must rise and take a stand

or leave their butt prints in the sand."

Life imitating art

or, it's not nice to call your blogging wife a computer geek. Even if you add in the word beautiful. Nope. Not even then.



You will be happy to know, however, that I am at least not a big enough computer geek to decide to pay money for the "crackberry" gadget for your meez, although it would have been more realistic... ;-)

We always knew you were a trendsetter...

Forget everything you knew about librarians--unless, of course, you know my mom--and check out these "new, hipper, shushers".

Sisterly vows

Let me preface this by saying that I may be completely off base here. I mean there was that time in high school when the sister who taught my French class tapped her closely-trimmed, practically designed, nunnly hands on my desk and I caught sight of the single gold band on her left ring finger. I thought I'd uncovered a scandal so big that, well, I couldn't believe that she'd be so bold as to walk around blatantly advertising her illicit marriage. Needless to say, many, many years later some kinder, gentler and much wiser person explained to me the significance of her ring. I was pretty happy that I'd decided to let her secret stay just that.

Now, this is not nearly as scandalous a story, but I think I need to re-examine the vows that our dear sisters take. If I'm not mistaken, theirs are vows of chastity, obedience, and poverty; which would imply to me that a nun's life is simple, lacking in an overabundance of material goods. So this morning, when I volunteered to help my mother-in-law to clean out the kitchen at the school's convent, I mistakenly thought the entire job would be finished in a couple of hours. To say the very least, the job will continue into the next week, probably the next month and quite possibly until the dear sisters have long since settled into their new convent (which shouldn't take long, given the amount of stuff that was left in the old digs).

At present, I am running loads of place mats, potholders and dish towels through my laundry. If cleanliness is next to godliness, then one of the sister's forgot to embroider it on one of their many kitchen wall hangings. In the two hours I had allotted, we managed to NOT wash down the walls, NOT wash down the cabinets, NOT wash the inside of the cabinets (with what we found out today was nearly 50 years worth of accumulated kitchen paraphernalia), NOT sweep the floor, NOT wash the floor, NOT wash down the counter tops or NOT clean out any small appliances. We did, however, get a tremendous head start on sorting and boxing things up for the school's rummage sale this fall. (Ed Note: If you are in need of 30 different types of nutcrackers, spatulas of the wood, plastic, metal persuasion or any combination thereof, or perhaps you're just missing 7 colored wicker paper plate holders-only burned once...then you'll want to mark the rummage sale on your calendar.)

Don't misunderstand this little anecdote, either. I love the sisters who work with our kids. I truly feel that our children are loved by them as if they were their own. And having an opportunity to go "behind the habit" as it were, gives me a little insight into the lives that on the outside seem so perfectly simple. It also sheds a little light on my one extremely right-brained daughter, who leaves "stuff" in her wake as she moves throughout the house during the day, that maybe her considering becoming a nun isn't such a far reach for her after all.

Best laid plans

I purposefully got up early this morning to get in the shower and get dressed before the crowds ensued, but instead I decided to just *quickly* check my email, and then look in on the blogs I read, which led me to spend way too much time creating this. And now, I think I hear Baby T waking up and quite possibly my own alarm clock that the Captain must have set for me...



You, too, can spend your morning creating your virtual self. Just click here.

Happy Fourth of July!

Thank you, O God, for the freedom we have to gather in faith in our country. As we celebrate our nation’s birthday, let us be especially mindful of the rights we enjoy and our obligation to be peacemakers.

-From The Blessing Candles

Great cards!

I hadn't realized that Pauline Press, in addition to offering wonderful books and media, also had these very cool (and suprisingly free!) ecards on their website.

Hide Out

"I can't catch a break," I moaned to the Captain on the phone this afternoon. "The children track me down wherever I go in the house. No place is sacred." (Not even the bathroom, I thought to myself. I believe I have been *interrupted* in the bathroom even by visiting neighbor children.) As evidence to support my claim, here's the advice I received from B as she over-listened to the private conversation I attempted to have today:

"I know where you can go," suggested B, "the basement."

Then she quickly amended that thought, "Yeah, but if you did that, then I would know where to find you."

Warning: Don't try this at home

Note: I did not say that this stunt was performed by trained professionals. I am suggesting, with a little hindsight, that perhaps some should have been called in for this job...

Last night, the Boy and I decided that it was finally time to put together the Captain's Father's Day gift. Knowing how much he likes the Baggo game, we thought it would be a incredibly foolish, possibly drug-induced fun, get the whole family involved, kind of Father's Day gift to make him a set of his own.

Fortunately, and this may be the first and last lucky thing you hear about this project, H's godfather cut all the wood for us ahead of time. Yes, all.the.wood. As we loaded the Suburban up with all the evenly cut pieces of our beanbag game puzzle, it couldn't have looked more simple. Really. But, somehow, when it came time to put it all together last night it was like reading the Mandarin Chinese version of the directions (which, by the way, I do not speak).
To make matters worse, we were trying to avoid asking the gift recipient for any help. First, because it was HIS gift from us and second, because the Boy was concerned his Dad wouldn't think of him as a "handy man".

The biggest troublemaker seemed to be the drill. It was like that kid in class who every time the substitute teacher turned around, he found yet another annoying way to needle her. Initially, it seemed to only spin the woodscrews around endlessly, never sinking them into the wood but somehow managing to shoot them out projectile-like at any one of the four exposed knees it saw. I was almost ready to go grab the Captain, when the Boy asked to take a look. Turning it over, from one hand to the next, he looked at me, dead serious and said, "Well, here's the trouble, you've got it set to 'evil'." And then proceeded to head out in the twilight to practice putting. Even more determined, I crouched down and inspected all angles of the wood, all the shiny little wood screws, and even the antagonistic drill. Nothing. At that point, the Boy re-emerged, energized anew with pre-teen wit and wisdom, "Let me see that drill, Mom. It just needs a good talking to, I'll take care of it..."and launched into a 5 minute chastisement of the drill. Given the time I had spent with it at that point, I almost started to feel bad for it. Almost.
Finally, the Boy recalled that his Dad had actually *taught* him to use a drill when they built the girl's playset last year. I just stared at him. My big, goofy 12 year old who at last count towered over me by about 5 inches. Now? Now, you remember? After all I've been through with this lousy, good-for-nothing drill...but I digress. So, I relinquished drill control to my adolescent helper, who decided before making any more of a mess of the wood we were using, he would drill a *test* piece. He grabbed a small cube of wood, steadied the screw and held the drill in place before he pulled the trigger. Had I known what was about to happen next, I would have yelled "FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!" and ducked for cover. Unfortunately, I was only moments away from having my eye gauged out, but my reflexes (hey, there are some benefits to parenting so many children) are still pretty quick. As the block of wood, one inch of wood screw still protruding(see picture above), landed with a thud next to me, I looked at the Boy and announced, "That's it. I'm getting your Dad," and marched in the house to pull him off of the big comfy red plaid chair and a half to come and rescue our gift-gone-wild. Within moments, it was fixed.

Although there is still the little matter of the rogue screws that need to be removed from various parts of the garage.

Just wait till the painting phase starring the 3 and 4 year olds gets underway...

Couldn't it just be easy?

It would seem like it should, right?

BTW, I'm talking about attachment here...and in particular, between adopted parents and their children.

Before our two Ethiopian children arrived (nearly 7 months ago now!) we read up on attachment and adoption. We dusted off my old grad school course books and even a paper I wrote (that was published way back then) about secure attachment in children. We *thought* we were prepared.

As you may already know, or will learn from reading our story, God and I tend to have an unsigned agreement with each other. I pick a topic, invest loads of time and energy into it, discuss the topic with friends and maybe even share some of my wisdom with a lucky few and then, just when I think I know what I'm talking about---WHAM!!!---God reminds me that I'm really not the one in control and oh, by the way, I don't have all the answers and maybe, (insert big gasp) I don't even know what I'm talking about.

So, as we've been feeling pretty confident on this attachment journey thus far, it should have occured to me that another fairly large (read: God-sized) shoe was about to drop. I should clarify by explaining that Baby T did not decide to run off and join the circus as the bearded woman or some other such nonsense nor did H not take off for parts unknown or lock herself in her bedroom refusing to leave the house or (heaven help me) unbraid all of her newly braided hair in protest. No, this time it was something much more subtle and something which has cropped up several times over the past few weeks, given the time of year. And it was one for which we had not planned.

This time, it was the bad side to the effects of a good attachment. Have you got that now? Because it took me a little while to see the connection. We'd been so happy that our kids seemed to be attaching so well that it hadn't occured to us (okay, with Baby T it did but he's well, a baby, so it didn't feel so strange) that part of opening up your little 9 year old heart to attachment also means opening it up for hurt and sadness---again. If my own mother had died within the past year and the hands of fate dealt me the cards of a new, white, English-speaking, American family, I'd probably be a little slow on the attachment-o-meter. Not H, though. She steadily and solidly began to see herself as our daughter right from the start, which was a beautiful blessing to us. Now, however, that emotion is out there. All the joy, happiness and love shared between parent and child, between siblings, between others significant enough to have impacted her daily life---and with that comes healing as some of those people drift in or out of H's life. This past month, we've said "good-bye" to her first teacher in America, to the school who welcomed her, to friends and classmates we no longer see each day, and to the short-lived (but oh-so-sweet) summer school teacher and students who were a large part of our month of June. And with each of those goodbyes came fresh new tears, not big, loud, gulpy sobs, but head-nodding, sniffly, knowing tears about loss. And all I can do is stand and listen as BAM!!!---there goes that other shoe.

It's true, I can reassure and console. I can hug and distract. I can try to empathize, but the truth is, as God's reminded me again, I've still got a lot to learn.

You can read more stories about attachment in adoption on the June Round-Up at Adventures in Daily Living.

Couple of Links

The Online Catholic Newspaper of the Third Millenium

This just appeared in my email box this morning. This is the description that accompanied the link:

Description: The Online Catholic Newspaper of the Third Millennium featuring news content provided by YOU! Tell us what's going on within your local parish or diocese by submitting a news item and we'll share it with the world. Support the Pope and the Church by combining your voice with thousands of other faithful Catholics.

It looks like an interesting site for news (both local, national and international) from the perspective of the faithful. It is a new site, however, so I'd check in from time to time to see what they're posting, but for now it looks spot-on. You can find the link in the side bar or click here to check it out.

Catholic Women of Worship

in cooperation with the Catholic Charismatic Renewal Center for Chicago are sponsoring a Charismatic Conference for Men and Women beginning July 5th and running through July 8th.

From their website:

To go deeper into worship & experience the Glory of His presence! We believe that this conference will affect our nation, the Church and our families.

It looks like quite a schedule. You can read more about it here and here.

Top 10 Uses

for the little charcoal discs that are used with our at-home incense burner for special celebrations on the ark. Don't ask me how I know, just trust me on this one.

10. Black chalk, which is only needed for white indoor surfaces, obviously.

9. Fingerprint dusting kit component. I should suggest this to local law enforcement. Honestly, this little black beauty is just perfect for finding fingerprints-every. single. one.

8. Travel teething ring. Compact, discreet, perfect for little hands on the go.

7. Make-up. This is the perfect solution if you are looking for something that stays on all day and won't wash off with soap and water. Actually, I'm not quite sure what will wash it off entirely.

6. Frisbee. Its flat, disc-like shape makes it a winner for getting good "air" when throwing.

5. And speaking of throwing, it makes for a great substitute for a ball when one is not anywhere around.

4. Trail marker. Seriously, folks, Hansel and Gretel wouldn't have run into any problems if one of them had just dragged one of these babies along behind them.

3. Prayer enhancement. It didn't occur to me, until we added this to our family altar, how much more important prayer would become.

2. Sibling squabble diffuser. Did you know that this tiny piece of charcoal in the hands of just one small 15 month old would cause all warring factions to declare an IMMEDIATE cease-fire and join forces to eliminate the new attacker? No, neither did I.

And the number 1 use for the charcoal is...

Mommy GPS. Somehow as soon as that little briquette is in the hands of a little one it locates mom within moments!

Stay tuned for more other helpful household hints brought to you from the Ark!

Family Operations Center

Okay, I know I promised (some time ago now) that I would share the terribly interesting details about the Family Operations Center. The pictures have been here just waiting-breathless with anticipation for my captioning. So, here goes...

As you walk in to the house from the garage, the door to the FOC (I know that sounds slightly offensive, but the full name is just too long to type out each time...)is located directly ahead. Hanging on the wall to the left of the door above the lightswitch is our key/note organizer. This is the place where the keys land as soon as we walk in and it has saved countless hours attempting to locate our missing keys. We also keep this organizer stocked with pencils, pens, notepads of paper, the "extra" cell phone, and the grocery fliers for that week. It makes it very easy as we are running out the door, especially during the school year, to write a last minute absence note (if one were to be last-minute in those sort of things...) or jot a quick grocery list down before leaving.

*In the future, we are planning to add a shoe holder of some sort directly below this organizer. Suggestions are welcome and appreciated!*

To the left of the door when walking into the FOC, is the backpack/coat/ hat/ glove bench. Even the dynamic duo can hang up their own coat or backpack here by standing on the bench seat. There are six hooks, which allows each child to have one (unless the ark grows at which point, I think we'd look to add additional ones-hooks, that is). Each of the older children has one of the baskets on the top shelf for their hat, mittens, gloves, etc...If they are wet, they can dry them off first in the laundry tub (located just to the left of the bench) or the dryer (located next to the laundry tub). Either way, they are dry and put away before the next use. The smaller baskets has made it much easier for each child to monitor their own winter gear without digging through a heap of everyone's fuzzy mittens and hats! The little kids have two bins on the bottom. One is for their hats and one is for their gloves. Even they have been able to follow this system and keep their hats and gloves together through this past winter. The last bin belongs to the Captain and I. We can actually find our own winter gloves without searching through toy boxes or kid's backpacks because someone got *confused* while dressing for the cold.

These cork boards were purchased at our local Office Max ($9.99/4 pack)and the dry erase/ bulletin board is from Target ($16.99 in the store, but not available on their website). The library pocket cards on each cork board and the chart on the bulletin board are from the local teacher supply store. (ed. note: I just can't help myself when I get in those stores...once a teacher, always a teacher--especially in September!)

Each of the kids has their own cork square with a library pocket card attached and bearing their name. As soon as they receive an important paper from school, sports, etc...it is thumbtacked immediately to their board. This has accomplished two things: first, it has enabled me to see the surface of my kitchen counter on a consistent basis and second, all those important papers don't seem to go missing any more. During the school year each of the school-aged children had a "What do you need today?" list also attached to their square (unfortunately, I threw this past year's lists out already, I know, I know, but the year was OVER already, people!) The gist of each of these lists, which helped me as well as them, was to break down the school week M-F and show for each day what "special" items each child might need. For example, if it's Wednesday, it's library for B and H's class so they need to have their library books. During the first six weeks of school, before we left the house, it was common practice for me to call out, "What do you need today? Have you checked your list?" Eventually, it became habit (most of the time) but there were some of those mornings when, well, you know...The last item on the square is the library pocket card. Two examples are shown below.

Shown above is one of the three younger kid's cards. Each one has three "jobs" on it. Everyone has the same last two jobs, which basically amounts to helping keep their room and the family room tidy. In addition to those two jobs, each child has one *special* job for the week (Sunday to Sunday). There are pictures to go with the *special* jobs so it can be easily "read" by a pre-schooler.

Shown above here is an example of one of the three older children's cards. Again, these are picked on Sunday night, so each card is used for one week. All of the cards go back in the pile after dinner on Sunday night and everyone picks again. Sometimes a new card is drawn, but not necessarily. When some of the children (who shall remain nameless) continued to draw the same card repeated times, the suggestion was made (by the aforementioned children) to be allowed to *trade* with a sibling. We did consider it...for about 10 seconds...and then decided that it was not a bad thing to have to do the same job more than one week in a row. As a matter of fact, it has shown itself to be a good thing. Nothing has made them more proficient at some of these jobs than practice and learning to do something that is boring or monotonous, while still contributing to the greater good of society, is a valuable lesson for our children. Additionally, the more often the same child performs the same chores, the more ownership is taken for that particular responsibility. When I hear a child say to a sibling, "Now, when you get out of the car, make sure you take out all of those books you brought with you and don't forget your juice cup, either!" I have to smile to myself--not just because of my pride in their actions but because not only is the task accomplished, but I need not be the chief nagger about it.

Finally, on the dry erase/bulletin board we keep a chart where the children can check off when they are finished for the day with all of their jobs. The younger ones, who need assistance, receive help from their buddy. (If you notice on the top of each of the older children's cards, there is the name of a younger child assigned to be their "buddy" for that week.) While it is not necessary for anyone to put a star or a smile face in the box each day, we've found that the idea of having a clear, specific, finite list for what is expected each day and the opportunity to "cross it off" leaves everyone with a healthy sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. We've used the dry erase board (which is also magnetic) to leave each other messages, create countdowns to special visitors arriving or events happening and to write a note of encouragement or just something humorous to kick off the week.

All in all, I'd have to say that it is a fluid program--as the children grow and change, parts of it will change as well; but for now it is one for which we are pleasantly content with its results.

Overheard

Little N has had quite a sniffly nose lately. Seems we're doing some kind of early summer cold thing here on the ark. To keep her little nose clean, I've been after her with Kleenex pretty regularly. So the other day when she went to find one for herself and couldn't she called out:

"Mommy, we need more ISSUES in our house."

Is it naive to think that it was just her stuffed up nose talking?

I thought not.

Goin' to the chapel

Not me silly, my sister-in-law. She is the first of two siblings' weddings my husband (whom Kelli aptly nick-named the "Captain" of the ark! ;-)!!!) and I and the rest of the clan are attending this summer.

Fortunately, this wedding does not involve the loading up of 8 people into the Suburban (really, in this case, an ark would seem much more practical...) and driving half-way across the country to Boston. The good news, in that scenario, is that a) we will get to see my brother finally get married! b) we have top-notch accomodations for the stay, right Auntie F? and c) the wedding is the start of our vacation time in New England--hooray!

But for today, in the midwest, I am making final preparations to bring the Boy and the two big girls to the rehearsal tonight, where they will learn their roles as usher and greeters. Then, head over to the rehearsal dinner at my in-laws to meet up with the "Captain" and the three little ones. We also have my husband's Grandma B, who is 80-something years old, staying with us tonight and tomorrow; and who has given us a good excuse to give a somewhat more in-depth cleaning to the ark prior to her arrival. The wedding should be great. The forecast is iffy, but it will be a mini-reunion of sorts for the family and the "Captain" and I will get to dance together for the first time since, well, the last wedding we attended; which should garner all sorts of eye-rolling and snickering from the pre-teen set here on the ark. But most of all, it will be a wedding, a new beginning, a brand-spanking new start for the little girl who is the "Captain's" goddaughter and who was my flower girl (okay, how old am I now?) in my wedding. At her bridal shower, just a few weeks ago, I remember watching her open her brand new mixing bowls and kitchen towel sets, beautiful Calphalon pots and pans and dinner dishes; and I remember how even that choked me up. I guess I'd better make sure to pack some Kleenex, huh?

So, wish us well, actually-wish them well...after 14 years of marriage, I know that the mixing bowls will get scratched and someone will use one of those beautiful kitchen towels to wipe their nose and one of those dishes will eventually break, but there is nothing more precious than when a marriage is new, when you stand hand-in-hand with your new spouse, gazing out into the future, waiting to see what God has planned for your new life together.

Guess where we spent Tuesday afternoon?

Yup, you guessed it...

At the braid shop!

Armed only with their two happy meals, the girls arrived at the shop at 11:30 and did not return home until 6:15 that evening. Ever the good sister, B spent the entire time with H!

Champions of Faith: Baseball Edition

What do you think of when you think of professional athletes? Do you think of their outrageously wholesome lifestyles? How about their upstanding moral character? Or do you sometimes just think about their life and how it reflects their faith as Christians?

Yeah, me neither.

Well, whatever you were thinking-be prepared to think again.

In a little over an hour, my 12 year old son, my husband and myself (armed with pen and paper to write this review) settled in on our family room couch to watch the new DVD Champions of Faith: Baseball Edition.

Before you read anymore about what I thought of the DVD, go and watch the trailer for yourself. When you're finished, stop back here and I'll tell you how you can save 10% when you order.

If the top-notch sports footage and uptempo music of Grammy Award winning group, Third Day, haven't yet convinced you, let me give it a try. In a time when the stories making sports headlines both on and off the field are filled with less-than-exemplary behaviors, to see these big name ball players witnessing their faith in the Lord is a breath of fresh air. And what's equally impressive (particularly to those who follow baseball on a much more regular basis than I) is that the twenty-plus superstars who participated in this project are just that-even by secular standards. Although some of the featured players have traded uniforms since the making of this film, their message hasn't changed. Their names and faces will be familiar, as will many of the highlights that are shown. What I suspect will be less familiar are the personal stories of faith shared by the men.

Of the seven players, who are highlighted throughout the program, my favorite one has to be coach Rich Donnelly's "Chicken Runs at Midnight" story. If for no other reason, bring home this DVD to hear Coach Donnelly retell a bittersweet memory and how the overlap of his faith, his family and baseball came together one memorable night.

From start to finish, Champions of Faith-Baseball Edition lives up to its aspiration to be a "groundbreaking tool of evangelization." Included with the DVD is a Companion Guide containing a brief synapsis of each segment, quotes from players, reflection questions and relevent scripture passages; which provide an excellent springboard for further discussion at home or in a group setting.

Tom Allen, who worked with Mel Gibson on his "Passion of the Christ" mega-success has but one prayer for the project, "that every Christian in America gets the opportunity to see this film, own this film and share it with others."

Perhaps a child you know plays baseball or an adult you know follows the baseball season. Or maybe someone you know could use a sports-infused shot in the arm of faith. You can order a copy here or by clicking on the banner in my sidebar (and use the code COFSAVE10 to save an extra 10%!!!).

Here's our chance to batter-up and hit one 'out of the park' for Christ and help to bring the rest of the team safely home!

Happy Father's Day 2007

For two very special fathers...one who helped to raise me and one who raises me up.

There is an excellent article here about what makes a man a hero. There is really no real reason for either of you to read it, as you already know all about that. You know about the level of commitment required of a father: the sheer exhaustion that you work through to play one more game of catch (or soccer in some cases), to wake in the pre-dawn hours to head off to a job that you may or may not feel like going to that day to support your family, to mend the hurts-both big and small-that those entrusted to you feel, to stand aside proudly and oh-so-humbly as the parenting accolades are doled out upon your *better* half. Maintaining the status quo has never been your strong point. You've always managed, in your own quiet, unassuming way, to lead by example and we as your family are the better for it.

What makes a man a hero? I'm not sure of the specifics, but that's okay, because I'm sure that you are. May God bless all our fathers today and always.

"It wasn't the reward that mattered or the recognition you might harvest. It was your depth of commitment, your quality of service, the product of your devotion -- these were the things that counted in a life. When you gave purely, the honor came in the giving, and that was honor enough." - Captain Scott O'Grady

Randomness Remix Times Eight


What a willing bunch of friends you are! I had no idea how many truly random things I had forgotten. So, as promised, here are the real 8 random things about me...

1. I cannot stand the sound of the word "ankle" or the word "somewhat". Don't ask me why, remember these are the truly random things.

2. I drove undercover with a flat tire to my now defunct small Catholic women's college, for some wholesome college living with your wee little sister (who obviously hasn't gotten this month's payoff yet).

3. I lost the mensa contest to both my siblings; making me not only the least edumacated one in the family but also the lowest IQ haver; which, in turn, makes me the least big of a geek--thankyouverymuch.

4. At one point, I used to eat my food in alphabetical order. Don't ask what I did when I had both cheese and chocolate, any self-respecting second grader would tell you to look at the next letter in the word.

5. The night I met my husband-to-be, I didn't have a pen or paper to write down my phone number for him...so I wrote it on his hand in lipstick.

6. Speaking of that same night...I met my husband after attending a party called the "Pajamajammy Jam" (how very early 90s that sounds now). Needless to say, I was sporting my jammies at the time we met. In my defense, they were a very cute pair of Lanz cotton pajamas, white with a light pink pinstripe AND I wore a matching light pink turtleneck underneath. Hey, I am from New England after all and it WAS January.

7. I used to have an extensive salt shaker collection. No further details are available at this time.

8. During my freshman year in college a West Point (my beloved's alma mater) cadet climbed out my dorm room window on a sheet. Terri B., if you're reading this, I am quite certain that Kapo was responsible for this illicit act. As you well know, I was not USMA groupie until, well, I married one of them.

Thanks to everyone who sent me such fun (and funny!) memories and for all the very kind things you said which I am not gratuitous enough to print. I am holding onto the *unused* random things you sent to be used for future blackmail memes.

They're heeere!

My entomologist-in-training was pleased to inform her not so pleased by the news mother that the cicada population had not (as I had hoped) vanished for parts unknown, but rather decided to show up fashionably late to the party. We noticed they had arrived when, this past Monday morning, while waiting for the Boy to finish with his golf camp, we decided to kill some time at a nearby park. B (shown below with her find) located a cicada of the deceased persuasion almost as soon as she jumped out of the car. Her enthusiasm was, well, enthusiastic and yet, strangely unshared by me for certain phobic reasons I won't get into right now...Needless to say, she was bound and determined not to leave the park without her catch. After scrounging around the car for a minute, she settled on an only-been-used-once Ziploc sandwich baggie and dropped the red-eyed little critter inside. Feeling satisfied, she gathered her baggie and we all headed off to the playground area. This seemed a fine plan. Until she realized that she couldn't both hold her treasure and navigate the playground freely. All hope seemed lost but then, as she turned and saw me, her loving mother, standing nearby, hands full of baby but carrying a very.large.pocketbook a lightbulb went on. And so, to my utter dismay, my lovely summer handbag became a shuttle bus for one dead cicada while his new owner played unencumbered.

My first ever purse passenger.

To clean or not to clean

This arrived in my email late last night (HT: Dawn) and then I noticed it was also on Yahoo! as one of its featured news stories.

I can't stress enough people, all good things come from Connecticut; especially Conn College, long known for its science department and as home to many budding microbiologists, right Pettey?

Regardless of its source, check out this study. After seeing it, I'm not sure why I even bothered to mop my kitchen floor yesterday.

Alrighty then

Since some of you have emailed (and others have quite boldly told me across the dinner table) to let me know that my self-selected 8 random things were not, shall we say, random enough; I'm going to give you a shot at it yourselves. If you have a random thing(s) about me that you think SHOULD have made the cut, email it to me at patjrsmom at yahoo dot com before noon on Friday. I'll use the ones I like best first 8 I get and post them in a brand new 8 things meme, okay.

Lizardo and J. Randolph, you should most definitely look upon this as a personal challenge. Seriously, I dare you.

Potty Training

Yesterday morning before church, I asked my just-turned-four-year-old to grab my red sandals. Unknowingly, she grabbed a different pair of red shoes and my almost-three-year old appeared beside her and said, "No, no. She wants the ones I went potty in yesterday."

I'm quite certain those are NOT the ones I want.

Hooray!

The little lost bar has been found. Now, if I could only fix the font in my new header...

Desperately seeking...

the little bar at the top of my computer screen that contains such important tabs as: file, edit, favorites, etc...

Last seen sometime last night before 10pm---whereabouts presently unknown.

I can't access any of the blogs or other sites I regularly read without you , little bar...please come home soon!

8 Random Things

Praying for Grace, who also maintains an awesome kitchen blog, tagged me for this little meme. I'll try to attempt to select from the multitude of random things about myself and narrow it down to only 8. Here goes:

1. I'm the oldest of three children. My brother, 33, who is finally (did I just type that out loud?) getting married this summer and my *baby* sister, 24, who is a public school teacher in NYC. We grew up with our mom and dad in a small town in Connecticut famous for the creator of Scrabble, an old Breyer's Ice Cream commercial, dollar movies at the town hall and infamous for the "Woodchipper Murder" of an airline stewardess.

2. *Home* went and retired to northern New Hampshire a few years ago, but my mom still has her cell phone with Connecticut telephone number. For the first six months they were up north, in protest, I would only call the CT number. Can anyone say "attachment issues"? Sheesh.

3. As a little girl, I played school all.the.time. (I also frequently dressed my brother up as a girl, but we won't talk about that-ahem.) I decided in middle school that I wanted to be a lawyer and kept thinking that I would until my senior year in high school. The school offered a study hall in place of a religion class to any senior who was teaching Religious Ed. Desperately seeking a last period study hall, I quickly signed up and, much to my horror, found that I really did LOVE teaching. It's funny what God will use to bring you in line with His plans.

4. In college, I double-majored in Elementary Education and Psychology and spent my first year teaching a Pre-K at the cathedral school in our diocese. I then joined the long, chalked line of educators in what my brother (the hold-out) refers to as the "family curse".

5. I have children born on three different continents: Africa, Europe and North America. We have welcomed a child at every home we have bought, which causes people to flinch now if we even suggest we're moving...

6. I love to cook Mexican and Italian food, bake cookies, go to the beach (especially the Cape and Outer Banks), stamp anything and read/watch "cozy" mysteries.
I do NOT love to wash dishes, go camping, fly on airplanes, eat fish, or watch the nightly news (unless you consider the Weather Channel at night-"news").

7. I had no dental work up until I had children. For every child I have given birth to, I've either lost a tooth or gained a filling.

8. I lead the Women's Bible Study at our church. We just finished the second book in the Courageous Series by Stacy Mitch. Together with my husband, we coordinate the Couples' Bible Study at our church, using the book Family Matters. Doing this has prompted us to prayerfully consider the possibility of writing our own family-oriented bible study, presented in light of the fullness of the faith. We'll see what happens, I guess...

So, there you have it, 8 terribly unimportant, extremely random things about me. I'm going to tag fellow-bloggers: Faith, Cathy, Paige, Julie, Becky, Kirsten, Kelli (if your computer is up and running!)the Elm City Mom, and Denise to play. I know some of you others out there have played before, so I tag you all as well.

Just leave a note in the comment section to let us know where to find your post if you play!

Prayer Request Update #2

Our wonderful friend's baby girl was born into eternity yesterday morning. Please keep this family and all those who love them surrounded in prayer. We are all mourning this loss, while holding fast to our faith and rejoicing that she is now fully cured and held tightly in Jesus' arms until we see her again.

Listen to the words of the book of Lamentations:
My soul is deprived of peace,I have forgotten what happiness is;I tell myself my future is lost,all that I hoped for from the Lord.
But I will call this to mind,as my reason to have hope:The favors of the Lord are not exhausted,his mercies are not spent;They are renewed each morning,so great is his faithfulness.My portion is the Lord, says my soul;therefore I will hope in him. Lamentations 3:17-18, 21-24

Prayer Request Update #1

Thank you for the prayers for Baby T. He came through his surgery like a champ, although he was not fond of all the nice people there who were not Mom and Dad. I even have some cute pictures of him pre-op, wearing his teeny, tiny hospital gown. I'll try to post them soon.

More Prayer

Baby T goes this morning for his surgery. Please keep him (and us...and my mother-in-law, who will be holding down the fort with the other kids) in your prayers this morning!

We will update when we get home. Thanks!

Keep praying!

Okay folks, remember our friends who are expecting their sixth baby? Well, tomorrow, they are planning to welcome their new baby! Please continue to hold this family close in prayer as they prepare for the birth. We all can't wait to meet their new arrival.

Every person is a gift from God...a wonderful, marvelous gift!

Try your luck!

There are a couple of great giveaways going on now.

1. What do you think about clothing from The Children's Place? We, here on the ark, LOVE it! So, we were thrilled to find on our most recent shopping trip that they are hosting a summer sweepstakes online now (and for the next 25 days!) You can play one time everyday. They are giving away a FIVE HUNDRED dollar gift card every day for playing the cute little beach themed game they've designed and entering in your mailing address. (There is a spot to enter your cell phone and agree to accept text messages from them for an additional *chance* at a prize, but it is not mandatory). Each time you play, your name is entered in a drawing for a GRAND PRIZE worth $5000!

2. And, if you're looking for something that will not only give you a chance to win some fantastic prizes, but give to a worthy cause at the same time; check out this raffle going on at Danielle Bean's website. This contest ends on Tuesday, June 12th.

What are you waiting for? Go and check them out, you never know, this might be your lucky day!

Taking matters into her own hands



Today was the All-School Picnic at our three oldest kids' school. I think they all enjoyed themselves despite a brief rainstorm and a minor injury on the part of the Boy. The highlight of the day, however, was that the big girls came home with their faces painted. As they settled into their seats in the car, little N sniffled, "I want my face painted, too." "Maybe another day," I answered, thinking the matter settled. You'd think I'd have learned by now, right?



Well, tonight, in the middle of preparing dinner, N tugged at my shirt from below. I looked down to find her staring up at me, both hands masking the majority of her face. "What is it?" I asked quickly before my brain had time to retrieve the obvious answer:





As a friend of mine would say, "Way to be a problem solver, N!"

How'd you get here from there-Part V

Wow! If this wasn't a timely topic for me to discuss...I don't know what would be--language acquisition and adjustment.

A reader writes, "What issues did you have with adjustment and language for your eldest daughter (who by the way is stunning)?"

First, thank you, we think she's stunning, too! But, to answer the question posed, I should first point out that each child will have his or her own unique timetable regarding adjustment and language. This will be dependent on a number of things: age, emotional condition, ease of adaptability in general, and with regard to acquisition of a second language (in this case English) the level of acquisition of the native language (in this case Amharic).

Our children, for the most part have adjusted well to life in America an in our family. There is definitely a difference in the adjustment and language development between an infant (less than 12 months) and a school-aged child. For the purpose of answering the specific question, this entry will address the adjustment of an older child.

What is interesting to me, however, is that this particular topic comes up as we are currently working through some decisions related to language development. In the case of either language development or the adjustment/attachment process, one thing seems clear--the child's first exposures and experiences will affect the present outcomes. Now, this is not to say that a child who has poor literacy skills in their first language will NEVER learn a second language or that a child coming from a neglectful or abusive situation will NEVER attach/adjust properly. It only helps to show that the attachment/adjustment will be easier given a secure primary attachment in the child's early development and the second language development will be easier if a high level of literacy was achieved in the first language.

Towson University offers a very thorough look at Language Development in Internationally Adopted Children here and specifically addresses Language Learning in Older Adopted Children here. There is a great deal of information available for parents, but much of it takes some looking and it should NOT be assumed that the child's school will do it for you. If they do so, great; but be prepared to advocate for your child's needs from the start. We have been blessed with a good friend, who has a great deal of experience in ELL both as a teacher, writer and general super-genius! She has given us oodles of support for which we are most grateful and pointed us toward some amazing resources.

When H started school in January (about a month after arriving in the US), we were confident that our parish school would be the appropriate placement for her. Our main concern at that time, and still today, is that she "fits in" with her siblings and peers, feels accepted and *normal*, and is showing progress in her acadmic work as well as her language acquisition. Considering that when she came home, she and I poured over K-level books, focusing on letter identification and initial consonant sounds, we're thrilled to find that she is working on reading books such as the Junie B. Jones series. While she still gets stuck on some unfamiliar words (it's quite hard to know what a word is when you've never spoken it before!) or names (such as Beatrice and Gracie); it encourages us to hear her call out, "Hey Mom, m-i-n-u-t-e, is that 'minute'?" or "Hey Dad, k-i-t-c-h-e-n, is that 'kitchen'?" As we continue to discern what type of schooling will best meet her needs (both academic AND social-emotional), we will have English Language Proficiency testing conducted next week through our local school district. Through the Illinois State Board of Education, we also have found the ELP Standards posted, including a wonderful video series that can be viewed online using RealPlayer. The Overview of Second Language Acquisition should be 15 minutes of required viewing for all educators, not just those who work in the field of ELL, as it gives an excellent description of what Second Language Acquisition is and the differences between social (BICS) and academic (CALP) language learning.

Stay tuned as we proceed with the testing and pray for discernment on our school placement decision.

Wash for Life

The Word Among Us, a monthly publication containing daily scripture meditations and articles pertinent to various aspects of faith life contained an article that caught my eye this month.

One of the testimonials that was given contained this quote:

“My favorite story from last year was one I heard about a youth group where the kids were initially happy to be part of the car wash, but not as comfortable talking about the pro-life cause. They didn’t really know what to say. Well, by the end of the day, they were passing out brochures from a pregnancy care center and talking to people about it. It’s this kind of active role that will have a lasting impact on them. That’s what we really hope Wash for Life can do for youth.”

As parents trying to make our faith come alive for our children, opportunities like this just make me smile all over. Having taught for almost a decade, and parenting for even longer, it is quite evident that nothing makes a better impression on a child than putting your figurative money where your mouth is. That is, get up and act. Preaching the gospel to my children is much more effective if I use absolutely no words at all, and here is a great opportunity to do so.

Think about it, pray about it, and pass the info along to someone you know who might work with a group of young people who could join in this worthy wash day this fall. Maybe you (yes, you!) have been looking for a pro-life event that your children could share with you; or maybe you might be willing to lead a group yourself? In any case, pray for the people who will come out that day, that many hearts and lives will be touched and the message of the Gospel of Life will be shared for the love of God and the sake of the unborn.

Adoption concerns-Ethiopia examines its adoption policies and procedures

This article, from the New York Times, demonstrates Ethiopia's current struggle to help its orphan children while maintaining the high standards of adoption for which the country has been known.

The article seems fair and unbiased (with the exception of not mentioning our most excellent agency, Adoption Advocates International). The following is a quote, however, that (I think)reflects a common concern that many adoptive parents face:

“It’s hard to know what the right thing is to do,” Ms. Suomala said. “Should we just give all the money we’re spending on this to the children’s mother?” Ms. Suomala and her husband, David Vasquez, had already spent time with her.
“It was obvious the birth mother loved her children,” Mr. Vasquez said. “She said to us, ‘Thank you for sharing my burden.’ ”

As a parent, is it possible to bring a child home to America guilt-free, knowing that doing so, in the case of those not *officially* orphaned, leaves a mother's arms empty half way across the world? Our children's birth mother is dead, surviving only a short while after the birth of Baby T, and still, our children's loss of their first mom and first family (who cared for them briefly as best as their resources allowed) is painful to think about.

Many have said that adoption is not the ideal; but at present, only the best option to ensure health and well-being for a growing number of children in need of parental love and support. I would tend to agree with that. I would also agree with another adoptive mom who said (and I am wildly paraphrasing here) that if her adoptive children grew up happy, healthy and well-adjusted; viewing her and her husband as the "really nice American people who raised her" then that was okay with her, too.

As for the choice whether to *give* money to the birth family (if, in that case, that was all it took) to "keep" their children or to spend tens of thousands of dollars on the adoption process, I can see where that argument is headed, but I'm not sure it's the ideal answer either. We've debated this issue in our agency's forum. Many families have some ties to some or all of their adopted children's first family and are aware of their great needs, but to *give* money, in any amount, to those families might imply that their children's lives were being bought and sold to wealthy, American couples; certainly not the impression any reputable agency would want to present. Delivering the money to the governments in some of these countries? I'm not sure anyone would want to open that can of worms either. Considering some of the corruption that already exsists in some places, the potential for stoking that fire with cash is just plain scary.

So, in the meanwhile, countries and waiting families walk a tightrope towards one another, stopping now and again, to check their balance in the hopes that no one falls.