A Dilly of A Pickle

Some of you asked about my pickling prowess posted previously (sorry, that alliteration was just begging me to be written...but, hey, now you have a tongue-twister to try)

So, I'd love to remain the highly-esteemed domestic diva that some of you seem to think I am, but in fairness to mothers everywhere I simply must kick the pedestal out from underneath myself and let you in on a little secret.

Come closer, I'm going to whisper.

Closer...good.

Can you hear me? Okay.

I am not--repeat it with me friends--NOT--the Martha Stewart of the Midwest. Even a monkey with some cucumbers, vinegar, water and a Sprawl-Mart nearby could make pickles. Seriously, that's where I got my confidence. Ask some of the people here about my many kitchen disasters. I'm sure they'll be glad to tell you about my health-cake where I decided to omit the eggs--unaware that there is a purpose to every item in a recipe. The purpose of eggs? To bind things together so that they don't crumble to pieces when a gentle breeze blows through. Perhaps you still don't believe me? There was also some unpleasantness with one of my first ever "Casserole Made from Every-Single-Leftover-In-The-Fridge" henceforth known as Mexican Chicken Surprise. I'd give you the recipe, but you wouldn't want it. I don't know what a smart, Yankee gal like myself thought I was doing making a casserole anyway. Sheesh. Or the first *meal* I cooked my future husband--a frozen pizza that I somehow burned on both the top and bottom. Look at it this way, I love homemade things. I love to play around in my kitchen. But I have a bunch of kids and a limited attention span. If they made paper pots and pans I would use them. 'Nuf said. Now, back to pickling...

So, to review:

1. Everyone can create the pickles in question--even the aforementioned monkey.
2. All you need are pickling cucumbers (which you can buy for pennies at the farmers market, or if you really are a Martha Stewart-type--first, I would stop taking advice from me--and then, I would go pick some pickling cukes out of your beautiful, garden.
3. Get as big a kettle as you have and pour in this mix--or this one, depending on your preference--and add water and vinegar accordingly (I found mine at you-know-where-Mart with the canning supplies.) Heat everything to boiling--again according to the package.
   
4. Slice the cucumbers lengthwise, taking off the ends.
   
5. Add together sliced cukes and hot pickling mixture and let sit for 30 minutes.
   
6. Pack pickles into jars and ladle liquid in, leaving 1/2 inch head space.

These can sit in the fridge for up to two weeks. You can either consume them all or water-bath preserve them before the two weeks are up.

I'll get to the preserving process another day. Right now I have to go throw away the lunch dishes.