So I've put myself in the position, now, of figuring out exactly where one begins after so many years of silence.
Do I start with the developments in the stories of our adopted children? Are those even my stories to tell? At some point, their stories reach into ours and fuse together becoming one and the same story, but I'm not sure where exactly that happens yet and I want to respect the confidential nature of such sensitive topics.
Do I start with the foray into mental health care that our family has had? The myriad of diagnoses, the countless therapy sessions, the battles against insurance companies or the learning curve of psychotropic medicines? Any one would give me plenty of fodder for the blog. Easily seven years worth.
Do I start with the collateral damages to friendships, family members, finances, physical and mental health? There's no shortage of any one of these.
Do I start with the battle for services? From the state to the classroom…the battle was nearly insurmountable. Nearly. And that is definitely its own story. Which leads me to…
Maybe I start with the changes, the growth and the lessons learned about achieving the impossible? About living through stories you never would have written yourself into--if you were actually in control of the pen--oh, or what about that--control? Many lessons about how little control is actually in our possession. Any of us.
And that's just the adoption related stories.
Kids have grown up, as they tend to do, moved on to colleges, grade schools and high schools. Some remain at home still, for which I am grateful to still have the opportunity to live again some of the years I think I missed while we lived in crisis mode. And the babies. I wouldn't be telling the full story if I didn't recall the seven sweet lives that sli
pped through our grasp over these last tumultuous years.
And work and home and life. And all the things that it encompasses. Including our faith.
What has nearly a decade of trauma done to our faith?
That's a good question. I'm still struggling to find the words for an answer. But our faith is still the compass. The same faith that led us to answer God's call in the past continues to lead us forward. With much wider-eyes than before, for sure, we step forward in faith and continuing to build.