Saturday, January 19, 2008

How'd You Get Here From There- Part IX-
The Reluctant Spouse

I've had a number of people ask me about how my husband and I came to a joint decision on adopting. Our story isn't particularly exciting in that aspect as we were both ready and "on board" with the decision to adopt at the same time.

That being said, IF one of us were struggling with our decision or IF our decisions were not in sync, what has always, 100%, every.single.time, worked for us was prayer. Now, that is not to say that the formula went something like this:

a. I decided something and dug my heels in about it (not that this EVER happens)

b. My husband decided the absolute polar opposite (not that we aren't always blissfully united on everything)

c. I decided to pray and said something along the lines of, "Hey, God! Would you just please show my husband how completely wrong he is and how brilliantly correct I am? Thankyouverymuch!"

d. Seconds later a lightning bolt was visible over my beloved and his heart was changed that instant. And I got exactly what I wanted.

Not exactly how it works. It takes prayer AND time AND an openness to the will of God, which may or may NOT be exactly what I want. It may, in the end, be what neither of us want, but it also may be better than we could have even imagined. When we are faithful and trust God, He, in turn, is faithful right back--ten times over.

But while you are prayerfully waiting, with a reluctant spouse, trying to discern whether adoption is right for you and your family; I suggest reading this article from this month's Adoptive Families magazine. Your decision and the struggle many couples face is not yours alone.

God bless you on the journey.


Amy L Brooke said...

Thanks for sharing your story. I'm single and have thought about adoption but I don't know how I would do it as a single parent and never getting a break. Still, I love childrend and feel I have a lot to offer in that. The logistics though . . . .


Easter Almuena said...

Oh Jane, you crack me up! Ha ha ha... you are so funny!!! I have a feeling that if we do meet we will spend a lot of time laughing... ha ha ha...

I do admire you and your husband so much! You inspire me to look beyond the fascade and explore possibilities. God be praised!

By the way check our Cardinal Sean's blog with pictures of an Ethiopian Catholic family and Ethiopian sisters with Cardinal Sean. This made me think of you.

God bless you always!